Mental health is a continued focus for good reason…..life is hard and our resilience may not be! We all have times where we feel like we are holding on by a thread, myself included. Mental wellness, are we really lost?
I have been taking deep dives into my childhood, my upbringing, individuals that have crossed my path and the lessons they taught me, for a number of years now.
This quote represents a lot of what I believe…or rather what I have unpacked and discovered about myself, and about you.
“Finding yourself”, is not really how it works. You aren’t a ten-dollar bill in last winter’s coat pocket. You are also not lost. Your true self is right there, buried under cultural conditioning, other people’s opinions, and inaccurate conclusions you drew as a kid that became your beliefs about who you are. “Finding yourself”, is actually returning to yourself. An unlearning, an excavation, a remembering who you were before the world got its hands on you.”. –Emily McDowell
We are not lost. That is not an accurate representation of our lives. Our true selves never went anywhere, we are not lost, something to be found. We do not simply ‘lose ourselves’. Our real selves are buried, but if we work to understand our thoughts, feeling, and behaviors, we can find greater understanding of ourselves.
If we can identify and discover what our own limiting beliefs are, based on beliefs put on us from our parents or other adults, cultured conditioning, being told we are not good enough, fearing speaking our truth, opinions of others who are just projecting upon you, and a long laundry list of other things that have shaped us, we can begin to take off those weights.
If you only take one thing out of this article today, let it be this…..others opinions about you are only a mirror about how they feel about themselves. THIS is the truth!
Sometimes this means learning new things, other times it means unlearning; both equally important. We are limited, but not lost. We have blind spots but are not blind.
As Louise Hay so eloquently said, “If you accept a limiting belief, then it will become a truth for you.”
Somewhere between the innocent sparkly child, you were, believing anything was possible, and adulthood…..you started to lose your sheen due to a whole host of limited beliefs. Some were ingrained in your belief system due to those of your parents, others were adopted due to the treatment you receive from others…..but we can change!
What can you do about it?
The first thing to be aware of is the moment you begin to question those beliefs, you are on the right path.
Take action! Start by writing them down. Not sure how to determine what those are? Write down a few goals and dreams, and listen to the first thoughts that come up. Do you immediately feel a tension in the body? Do your goals and dreams incite fear? Disgust? Anxiety? Doubts? Why?
Sometimes this is when the ‘should’s’ or the ‘I am not good enough’ thoughts come into play. This inner mean girl needs to be exposed for what she is….pure ego. Your ego is not there to protect you, but to stifle you. The task is not necessarily to transcend your own humanity but to embrace it. Rewrite it. Don’t like how you feel? Work through it, not around it…and definitely do not ignore it.
Ask for help! I worked with a beautiful soul who helped me to challenge my top limiting belief of “It is not ok to make a mistake.” This was ingrained in me from my upbringing. Good was not good enough. Mistakes were weak. That was hard to unpack as an adult, and others definitely preyed upon it. Doing the work was freeing, healing, empowering. We all make mistakes. This is where we learn, and I want to learn every single day I am on this path.
It took time, but I have almost arrived. I am perfect in my imperfections. I love every little piece of me…..mind, body, spirit…questioning on the daily everything I was ever taught. There is no other way.
Keep learning, my friends. Xo Leslie
Louise Hay video worth watching
