Is there anyone that is stress-free? Some say that a small amount of stress is healthy, as well as we can identify “good stress” (eustress) and “bad stress” (distress). There is one thing I can agree with, that stress reduction is just as important as stress management…and this all starts with our attitude and a whole lot of self-care/self-love.
The key is working to become more stress resilient…as we know completely eliminating stress is very unlikely. –Leslie Moldenauer
When we look at things logically and with a clear head, we can see that even our youngest are under stress. School, sports, strict schedules and always being on the move can stress out parent and child alike.
Now that I am in the school system I can easily see how much stress our youth is under. There is SO MUCH PRESSURE to not only succeed but to compete. I reiterate with my boys daily that perfection is simply not attainable, or desirable. This may not be a popular opinion, but once I became very clear with my boys that straight A’s were not only not expected, but also not encouraged, they let out a big exhale.
It is much more important to me that they learn life skills, that they are good people! These things are not taught in school nearly enough. I assure you, that is not me removing my own responsibility as their mom, however, much of our youth have little education on how to deal with the emotional aspects of life……..it is just not being focused on.
There are too many boxes that children are being put into…..I say break down the boxes!
Now let us look at how hard life can be sometimes for us adults. Adults have very real problems…and many of us do not hold space for others, forgetting that even in the worst of moments…that everyone has a story, everyone has wounds, and everyone struggles…just as you do.
Ego often takes precedence over the spirit. Myself, included, sometimes when we are so buried in our own stuff we forget that others have real problems too, and maybe even more important, that others may be suffering.
So do we suffer in silence? Do we speak up? Do we ask for help? Asking for someone to hold space for us does not mean that we are looking for our problems to be solved, for anyone to truly “get involved” or anything of the sort.
You can hold space for someone by just being there. You can offer gentle, non-judgmental support and guidance. By simply being there, you can make a big difference in someone’s life. By telling my boys that I am there for them no matter what they are feeling or what they think they have “done”, it immediately reduces their stress. By showing them that their feelings are normal..and even expected, helps them to release the attachment they have to it. Separating yourself and becoming non-attached is THE single healthiest thing you can do for yourself at any given moment.
Non-attachment is freedom from ‘things’. It is removing your attachment to any particular outcome, simply letting go and enjoy the process….enjoy the present moment.
What Else Can We Do?
There are a few things that we have done that have improved things in our home in addition to truly being non-judgmental and holding space:
*We have stopped overscheduling. Sometimes in life, it is more important to “be” than to “do”. Let me tell you how painful this was for my kids at first. DO NOTHING? They thought mom had lost it. But now they actually ask for quiet time, and “most of the time” they are much more even kind and forgiving of each other.
*I make them say things out loud, sometimes in front of the mirror like “I love me”, “I am good enough” and “it is ok to make mistakes”. This was as hard as you could possibly imagine at first..and sometimes they still struggle with it, but more often than not we giggle through any awkward moments and they do amazing…(and feel amazing afterword too). Mirror work is incredibly powerful, don’t knock it until you have truly tried it multiple times.
*We as a family have had to make plenty of time to shut down our electronics. This is actually a ‘cause’ of stress in so many ways. The more we can disconnect with our electronics, social media, and games and get back to real life relationships, nature, and self-care….the less stressed we are.
Other than helping nudge their own attitude and beliefs in the right direction, we utilize aromatherapy to get us through the tougher moments, as we as a family have been handed a rough share of things in the last couple of years, as many of my readers likely have as well.
My boys have diffusers in their rooms, a variety of aroma inhalers, and have their favorite oils. My oldest loves Sweet orange (Citrus sinensis) and Sandalwood (Santalum album), but he is most affected by Lavender (Lavandula angustifolia). My youngest says, “just make me some magic mom”, but he is most affected by Sweet Orange (Citrus sinensis).
I have had many a-ha moments with kids in particular, but we aromatherapists know that they have a most profound effect on all of our emotions…some would consider them magic…myself included.
What are you inhaling today?
Want to have dozens of recipes at your fingertips along with fun, healing mantras to teach your children? Grab my ‘Aromatherapy for Kids’ book today!
Like so many practices in life, I encourage you to become educated on the proper use of essential oils. When using them, please do so cautiously, understanding that there is often misinformation on the internet. You can be assured that I support only educated and proven resources. While essential oils should not be feared they should be respected and used properly to ensure the safety of the individuals using them.
Please note that I am not a medical practitioner. The content of this website is provided for general informational purposes only and is not intended as, nor should it be considered a substitute for, professional medical advice. Do not use the information on this website for diagnosing or treating any medical or health condition. If you have or suspect you have a medical problem, promptly contact your professional healthcare provider. By using this website, you assume full responsibility and liability for your own actions.
