by Leslie Moldenauer | | Essential Oils
How can we navigate difficult changes with essential oils? Chronic worrying can lead to anxiety, panic, and essentially leave your nervous system unregulated and completely on edge. Sometimes you may feel like it is an endless roller coaster that you cannot get off of.
The one thing that causes concern for our overall health, is that a chronic worrier has their fight or flight response continually activated, we can easily fall outside of fight or flight, and into freeze. This falls into a term called allostatic load, or overload as the case may be.
What is Allostatic Load?
Allostatic load is “the wear and tear on the body” which accumulates as an individual is exposed to repeated or chronic stress (1).
I think we are all there right now. At least at some point in our day. The sympathetic nervous system switch is stuck in the on position, resulting in symptoms (not all-inclusive) such as:
-Physically and mentally unable to sit and relax
-Anxiety (heart palpitations/increased BP, irritability, headaches, insomnia, startle easily)
-Acid reflux, stomach aches, poor digestion,
-Chronic muscle tightness and pain
-Increased skin rashes
-Lack of productivity, forgetfulness, hopelessness, apathy, worry, paranoia
-The sensation of a lump in your throat or increasing clearing of your throat (related to acid/GERD)
I had a number of these over the last couple of weeks. I have a very clear pattern in my personality, my soul……worry…..anxiety…..introspection….take massive action!
This action is not always about work, not always a to-do list or even goal setting….with this pandemic it is choosing to let go. Choosing to stop gripping. Many people are talking about wanting the world to go back to normal. The world will never be the old normal, but the new. That is actually beautiful in many ways….but there is also a lot of uncertainty and unknown. That is my weakness, but I am slowly making it my greatest strength.
Why? How?
The Universe has always provided for me, always. All I have ever had to do was ask. Not once, not twice….but consistently.
Bring in the practice of abundance, manifesting, asking, praying (in whatever ways works for you), in the grand scheme of things…It is keeping your vibration high. Will you stay there all of your waking hours? A great big NO. We are human, these are trying times….BUT we can let the feelings in, be gentle and compassionate with ourselves..hug ourselves…love ourselves…and move onto the next moment.
How can we move from it? By activating our parasympathetic nervous system as much and often as we can. Read more about that here.
It requires a new way of thinking and living!
It requires living with complete self-awareness.
At times, it requires assistance.
Using Essential Oils to Support our Emotional Wellness
Bergamot (Citrus bergamia) Reach for this gem to help uplift your mind and provide much-needed respite during times of situational sadness and lows.
Black pepper (Piper nigrum) Can assist during the winds of spring when you are beginning to feel ungrounded and anxious.
Chamomile, Cape (Eriocephalus punctulatus) This is by far my favorite of the chamomiles and get help to incite calm when there is great overwhelm.
Cistus (Cistus ladaniferus) also called Rock Rose Is my oil of choice for shock and trauma. It has an affinity for the nervous system, great to use during tumultuous times.
Helichrysum (Helichrysum italicum) can really go to bat for you if you are feeling anxious and worried. It increases feelings of compassion for self and others with its beautiful honey-like aroma.
Laurel leaf (Laurus nobilis) Having trouble thinking positively, or finding the silver lining? Spend some time with laurel leaf to help turn that around.
Mandarin red (Citrus reticulata) Feeling stuck in freeze mode? Do deep breathing exercises with mandarin red by your side. The aroma will help when you are feeling stuck.
Palo Santo (Bursera graveolens) Call in protection during meditation for yourself, your family, and the earth using Palo Santo. The aroma helps bring great focus and concentration, enhancing meditative practices.
Ruh Khus (Vetiveria zizanoides) This green and heady essential oil, also called wild vetiver is amazing artfully blended to help with irritability, overthinking, and promotes restful sleep.
This is just a very small portion of the essential oils that we can look to help us in times of need. Check out the many others in my latest book, grab your copy today.
Reference
(1) Allostatic load. (2020, March 13). Retrieved from https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Allostatic_load
Like so many practices in life, I encourage you to become educated on the proper use of essential oils. When using them, please do so cautiously, understanding that there is often misinformation on the internet. You can be assured that I support only educated and proven resources. While essential oils should not be feared they should be respected and used properly to ensure the safety of the individuals using them.
Please note that I am not a medical practitioner. The content of this website is provided for general informational purposes only and is not intended as, nor should it be considered a substitute for, professional medical advice. Do not use the information on this website for diagnosing or treating any medical or health condition. If you have or suspect you have a medical problem, promptly contact your professional healthcare provider. By using this website, you assume full responsibility and liability for your own actions.
Categories of Grief & How Using Essential Oils Can Help
Reference
(1) Allostatic load. (2020, March 13). Retrieved from https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Allostatic_load
by Leslie Moldenauer | | Essential Oils
The essential oils that we know and love are derived from plants, but this does not necessarily mean that the therapeutic benefits or uses from the plant to essential oil are the same. In many cases, this does not hold true. There are many recipes online utilizing essential oils that do not honor chemistry and do not focus on safe use. Sustainability is also a massive concern as more and more people are stepping into the essential oil community every day. It is not necessary to use oils every day, or in everything. When we see a recipe shared online, we must ask ourselves if it is necessary, shifting the way we currently see these beautiful resources.
My goal in this series of blogs is to celebrate plants in all of their glory. I will walk you through from farm to oil. Uses, limitations, and fun recipes of each botanical will be covered. Within each article, I will discuss the herb, flower, fruit, seed, root, or bark, and finally, the oil. This will be informative and most importantly, FUN!
Today I will be talking about sweet orange citrus sinensis essential oil for its powerful therapeutics in the realm of our emotional wellbeing.
Oranges, juicy, sweet, and so uplifting…. (Citrus sinensis)
The first place our thoughts go to when we talk about oranges may be sunny Florida, but sweet oranges, a member of the rutaceae family are actually native to China. Now, the orange is the most common fruit grown in the world today, in places including the Far East, the Union of South Africa, Australia, throughout the Mediterranean area, and subtropical areas of South America and the Caribbean. When looking at the production of oranges worldwide, the amount of oranges that are grown organically is negligible, therefore we should use caution using this oil internally. The great thing is that there is no real need to.
What should we know about conventionally grown oranges? They are sprayed with a lot of pesticides. Over 140 of them. The good news here, is researchers tell us that the pesticides do not find their way to the fruit that we consume, but we know that the peels are cold-pressed to obtain the essential oil, which a very important factor for those that champion internal usage of essential oils [2]. (I still only buy organic oranges, because I eat them nearly every day) No knowledge is bad knowledge.
The main constituent in an orange that we look to use for our health is limonene. Limonene has many benefits, and there have been many studies involving this constituent that show that it does, in fact, have great promise. Limonene is found in the peel of the citrus fruit. Orange has even more limonene than lemon, around 95% compared to 65%, approximately, and lemon is the most commonly recommended oil to throw back into the delicate mucous membranes of our digestive system, running all the way from our oral cavity to our anus.
Now, before your mind goes down the rabbit hole, as you can easily find misinformation online in regards to orange essential oil, we need to address the method of use from fruit to oil, as that oftentimes is where the message gets lost in translation when it comes to this juicy fresh citrus fruit.
We all want to obtain antioxidants in our diets. Antioxidants devour free radicals. Now, it is important to understand that if we are breathing oxygen, we are creating free radicals, so the reality is important too. So…free radicals…in small quantities, not a huge concern, but in excess they will accelerate aging and can lead to all sorts of negative health problems. And since we are being bombarded from all sides with pollution of some sort, we need our liver performing optimally at all times. Consuming foods rich in antioxidants will go a long way towards your optimal health.
Enter oranges, which are very rich in antioxidants, due to both the limonene content as well as the vitamin C content. Thoroughly washing your organic oranges and placing a slice in your water every day is quite healthy, and a nice alternative from plain water all day long. Use the juice of a ½ an orange in a tall glass of water and you have obtained 25% of your recommended daily allowance (RDA) of vitamin C [3]. This is very similar to lemons. Just remember to take care of the enamel on your teeth. Rinsing with water after your drink is a good precautionary measure.
Using the Fruit
Want a sweet treat without the guilt? This is a perfect treat.
Orange Strawberry Mint Popsicles
Adapted from LiaGriffith
These molds are just perfect, and BPA free
Warm water 1 cup
Cold water 1 cup
Raw honey 1/2 cup
Mint leaves, 5-6 sliced in thin strips
Fresh squeezed orange 1
Strawberries, thinly sliced
Warm one cup of your water on the stove to melt the raw honey. Add to a stainless steel or glass bowl to cool quickly (add a few pieces of mint to the warm water). When cooled, add the rest of the water and orange juice.
Place the strawberry slices and mint evenly in your molds, and pour your liquid mixture in. Freeze.
These are so incredibly delicious, without the unhealthy sugars or food coloring.
I ask that all of you begin to think more about where you can use the nutrient-dense fruit before reaching for the essential oil.
When the essential oil is helpful
We can utilize the essential oil to when under stress or suffering from anxiety. Sweet orange essential oil is my number one recommended essential oil to parents for their children. Try this blend in a diffuser (from my Aromatherapy for Kids book):
Woesbegone (Master Blend)
Mandarin red (Citrus reticulata) 15 drops
Orange sweet (Citrus sinensis) 8 drops
Sandalwood Australian (Santalum spicatum) 6 drops
Frankincense (Boswellia carterii) 4 drops
Vetiver (Vetiveria zizanoides) 2 drops
Place these oils in a 5 or 10ml glass bottle. Now you can use on an aromastick or diffuser per your specific diffuser instructions. You can even apply topically properly diluted as sweet orange essential oil is not phototoxic to the skin.
What Does the Research Say?
- “Two hundred patients between 18-77 years of age (half women, half men) were assigned to one of four independent groups. While waiting for dental procedures patients were either stimulated with ambient odor of orange or ambient odor of lavender. Anxiety, mood, alertness and calmness were assessed while patients waited for dental treatment. Statistical analyses revealed that compared to control condition both ambient odors of orange and lavender reduced anxiety and improved mood in patients waiting for dental treatment” [4].
- “Forty (40) male volunteers were allocated to five different groups for the inhalation of sweet orange essential oil (test aroma: 2.5, 5, or 10 drops), tea tree essential oil (control aroma: 2.5 drops), or water (nonaromatic control: 2.5 drops). Immediately after inhalation, each volunteer was submitted to a model of anxiety, the video-monitored version of the Stroop Color-Word Test (SCWT). Although more studies are needed to find out the clinical relevance of aromatherapy for anxiety disorders, the present results indicate an acute anxiolytic activity of sweet orange aroma, giving some scientific support to its use as a tranquilizer by aromatherapists” [5].
- “We included 72 patients between the ages of 22 and 57 while waiting for dental treatment in our study. The participants were assigned to either a control group (14 men, 23 women) or to an odor group (18 men and 17 women). Ambient odor of orange was diffused in the waiting room through an electrical dispenser in the odor group whereas in the control group no odor was in the air. Specifically, compared to the controls, women who were exposed to orange odor had a lower level of state anxiety, a more positive mood, and a higher level of calmness. Our data support the previous notion of sedative properties of the natural essential oil of orange (Citrus sinensis)” [6].
Essential Oil Misconceptions
There are two really big misconceptions that I want to briefly talk about, and provide resources for further reading.
The first is that we can and should be placing drops of orange (or another citrus) essential oil in our water to drink daily. Some suggest a drop, some much more. Is this really logical?
Essential oils are lipophilic, also called non-polar substances, but they are not actually fats. Water, on the other hand, is polar [7]. When looking at things from a chemistry angle, when you have one non-polar substance and one polar substance, it is like a bad date, they cannot get away from each other quickly enough. They stay separate, trying adamantly not to touch. Unlike the dating scene, opposites do not attract here. The oils will sit on top of the water, no matter how vigorously you mix it, or the temperature of the water. Chemistry is chemistry. Learn more about essential oil chemistry, here.
Many people are drinking their essential oils, and this is very unfortunate, as the risk is not fully understood. Why? Long-term studies are not yet available. The reason is that this is a relatively new recommendation, albeit a very prevalent one, so I feel the evidence will begin to show itself in time.
Essential oils do not belong in a glass of water without an emulsifier, period.
The second misconception and the reason why it is stated to put essential oils in our glass of water is that essential oils contain nutrients, in the case of orange, the claim is often vitamin C.
According to the Oxford Dictionary, a nutrient is “A substance that provides nourishment essential for the maintenance of life and for growth” [8].
The Oxford Dictionary further states that a supplement is “A substance taken to remedy the deficiencies in a person’s diet” [9].
A few key points in regards to this topic are:
-Steam distillation of plant matter occurs at approximately 100 °C/212 °F [10].
-Vitamins degrade at very specific temperatures. Vitamin C, for example, degrades right around 70 °C [11]. Notice that this is 30° cooler than the temperature in which plants are distilled.
-For these reasons, sweet orange essential oil is not providing us with anything that we are missing in our daily diet, therefore is not a supplement.
What about the cold-pressed variety you ask? Because the cold-pressed variety of essential oil is not performed under heat, it is fair to say that some vitamin C could be present in the oil, although evaporation of the volatile nutrient will definitely come into play here are well. It is very important to remember though, the amounts will be insignificant, definitely not anything to write home about. If you are looking to obtain vitamin C as a true supplement, please consider the fruit.
I know that these are bits and pieces of a very important puzzle, therefore, I ask that you please take the time to read my article on essential oils and nutrients, here.
Closing
When we take from the earth for nutrition, sustenance, and healing, it is important that we always consider not only the impact of our use but on giving back. In an ideal world, if we all gave back a little bit more than we take, the impact would be massive.
If you are placing orange essential oil in your water every day, think first and foremost of the possible health implications of this. Always use a critical eye to consider what you were previously told may be flawed. Is further unbiased research warranted? Are using oils every day in this manner supportive of the sustainability of essential oils? Could we utilize the real fruit for a much safer, nutrient-rich alternative? I think the answer to this is a resounding YES!
We need to begin to shift the way we currently see these beautiful resources, for the continued future success of natural healing.
Like so many practices in life, I encourage you to become educated on the proper use of essential oils. When using them, please do so cautiously, understanding that there is often misinformation on the internet. You can be assured that I support only educated and proven resources. While essential oils should not be feared they should be respected and used properly to ensure the safety of the individuals using them.
Please note that I am not a medical practitioner. The content of this website is provided for general informational purposes only and is not intended as, nor should it be considered a substitute for, professional medical advice. Do not use the information on this website for diagnosing or treating any medical or health condition. If you have or suspect you have a medical problem, promptly contact your professional healthcare provider. By using this website, you assume full responsibility and liability for your own actions.
References
[1] “Citrus ×sinensis (L.) Osbeck (pro sp.) (maxima × reticulata) sweet orange”. Plants.USDA.gov. Archived from the original on May 12, 2011.
[2] https://www.independent.co.uk/environment/oranges-are-not-the-safest-fruit-they-all-exceed-pesticide-limits-519954.html
[3] https://healthyeating.sfgate.com/lemons-provide-vitamin-c-like-oranges-do-3508.html
[4] https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/16095639
[5] https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/22849536
[6] https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/11134689
[7] Polar vs Non-Polar Molecules: What you Need to Know. Retrieved from https://blog.udemy.com/polar-vs-non-polar/
[8] Definition of a Nutrient. Retrieved from https://en.oxforddictionaries.com/definition/nutrient
[9] Definition of a Supplement. Retrieved from
https://en.oxforddictionaries.com/definition/supplement
[10] Distilling Aromatic Plants. Retrieved from https://aromaticstudies.com/distilling-aromatic-plants/
[11] Rahmawati, S., Bundjali, B. Kinetics of the Oxidation of Vitamin C.
Retrieved from http://www.researchgate.net/publication/228484005_KINETICS_OF_THE_OXIDATION_OF_VITAMIN_C
Resources
Sustainability Issues https://naha.org/explore-aromatherapy/sustainability-issues/
The Environmental Impact of Essential Oils http://www.earthisland.org/journal/index.php/elist/eListRead/the_environmental_impact_of_essential_oils/
3 Common Yet Risky Essential Oil Mistakes
by Leslie Moldenauer | | Essential Oils
According to HelpGuide.org, burnout is “a state of emotional, physical, and mental exhaustion caused by excessive and prolonged stress. It occurs when you feel overwhelmed, emotionally drained, and unable to meet constant demands” [1]. Here are my top tips to avoid emotional and physical burnout.
Having experienced burnout myself for the better part of three years, I know it pervades every nook and cranny of your mind and body until you feel like you have cement blocks tied to your limbs and your memory is…well all but a memory….pun intended.
Mental Health Awareness Day is October 10, 2019. My goal through my business is to help guide you to be well in every way possible.
According to the Harvard Business Review, 1 in 10 employees is a high risk of burnout [2]. I am confident when I say that the number is similar if not worse for stay at home moms.
So, how can we better care for ourselves to avoid burnout?
The top three things are proper sleep, adequate nutrition and water, and moving our body. These things are the base or foundation of wellness. We cannot expect to go to bed late and wake early and expect to be able to keep up with life’s demands.
Everyone thrives from varying hours of sleep, 7-9 is ideal. Don’t fool yourself if your number is 4 or 5, this is not ideal. The fuel we provide our body will dictate our wellness. We truly are what we eat. Be sure to sip water throughout the day. ½ to 1 ounce of water per pound of body weight is the goal. If you drink dehydrating beverages such as coffee, tea, wine, or soda, you will need to up your intake.
Moving on to our basic needs, here are a few things I recommend.
Asking for Help
“Ask for help, not because you are weak, but because you want to remain strong.”-Les Brown
Have you ever found yourself thinking, “I’ve got this? I do not need any help.” Or possibly you do ask for help, and then it does not get done the way you would have done it, and you say to yourself, “Nothing gets done right around here unless I do it myself!” Perfectionist anyone? I am saying this from my own life experience. This was me, big-time!
Ask for help! You are human, so let the notion of, “I can do it all by myself,” go. I will not argue the fact that you can, in fact, do it all by yourself, but at what expense is the question. At the end of the day, if it aids you in taking better care of yourself, you are winning. Keep it up!
Speak your Truth
This sounds simple enough, right? Well, for many of us, not so much. We fear what others will think, we worry about how we may be perceived. “Can’t handle it”, or “not good enough” type thinking can be troublesome for many of us.
Speak your truth, in all of your relationships. But by far, the number one person you need to be truthful with is yourself. It is ok to admit that you do not have it all together. It is ok to admit you’re overwhelmed. It is ok to admit that you’re angry and resentful.
It is ok to not be ok.
Whatever it is, communicate it as calmly and lovingly as you can. Yes, even negative feelings need to be expressed when you are in a good place to do so. Holding in feelings of any kind is completely toxic to one person, in particular, you.
Creating your Container
“Boundaries are a part of self-care. They are healthy, normal, and necessary.”-Doreen Virtue
So, what do I mean by a container? Create, honor and follow through with clear boundaries! Boundaries are created to protect your energy. Honor what is yours and what is not. Do not allow others to cross the boundaries you have set for yourself.
To clear energy and purify our container it helps to perform rituals of sorts in order to move toward this goal. This can include meditation, mindfulness, practicing non-attachment, yoga, dance, song, and journaling; anything that brings you total peace and quiets the mind.
This also includes letting go of past hurts and deciding this is your time. It is time for letting go of what anyone else thinks, and living for one person, you.
Let’s shift to boundaries. A therapist shared this analogy, and it really stuck with me:
You buy a new house with a lovely flower box across the whole front yard. As you are tending to your flowers, a neighbor walks down the sidewalk and says, “That looks like crap! You need to do something about that. You call that gardening?” You smile and try to ignore him, and he walks away. You look at your flowers and decide you really like them! The next day you go to tend to your flowers and they have been torn out, ripped up from the roots. You head to the store and purchase something a bit different and replant them. Again, the neighbor walks by and insults your green thumb.
Are you going to say something or be quiet?
Does it matter that he does not like it?
Did you change your choice of flowers with the hope of pleasing him? Enter boundaries. Of course, you say something! This is your yard! You are not planting to please him, right?
Shift this to your real life. Do you have boundaries, or do you let others tell you how you should think, talk or act?
This is one very small piece of healthy boundaries.
One of the biggest aspects of creating boundaries is in knowing what you are willing to accept whether from family, friends, colleagues or strangers. The only person in this lifetime who you are going to be able to change is yourself. Letting go of the need to understand others is really hard, but it is important to try.
Reignite your Passion
One (of many) reasons why I experienced severe burnout is that I lost myself as a stay at home mom. I am a born nurturer, and if there is one thing I do very well, it is the role of a mother. But through 10 years at home, I really began to lose myself.
I love to draw and paint, I love to write, sing, dance, practice yoga, garden, and many other things that allow creative expression of self. I lost almost all of those things, and when I tried to resurrect them, I was already teetering dangerously close to adrenal burnout that it was a little to late to turn it around.
Do what you love!
This applies to jobs, relationships, all of it. If it cannot be fixed or reborn, it needs your careful self-examination.
Limit Screen Time
Just as I encourage those of our youngest generation, we need to limit screen time, news and social media and recharge.
Dr. Jean Twinge, San Diego State University psychologist and Dr. W. Keith Campbell, University of Georgia psychology professor found that after only one hour of screen time that many children exhibited lowered self-control and greater emotional instability than that or their peers [3]. Adults are no different!
This includes violent TV programming, especially if you are an empath or a highly sensitive person (HSS). Bring in as much joy as you are able.
Treat Yourself
Bliss Bath
Rose Absolute (Rosa x damascene) 6 drops
Lavender (Lavandula angustifolia) 4 drops
Epsom salt 1 cup
Unscented fragrance-free shampoo 1 Tbsp
Full fat crème ½ cup (optional)
Mix and add to bath after the water has run.
Light a candle, grab a glass of wine or sparkling water and relax.
Diffuser Blend
Turn the timer on your diffuser before you slip under the covers with your favorite nighttime blend.
Here is one of mine:
Lavender (Lavandula angustifolia) 4 drops
Marjoram (Origanum majorana) 3 drops
Ylang-ylang (Cananga odorata) 2 drops
Neroli (Citrus aurantium) 1 drop
If you feel that you are exhausted all of the time, this is your body trying to tell you something. Listen in before it begins to scream.
Take care of yourself!
Sending you wishes for abundant health and happiness.
xo Leslie
References
[1] https://www.helpguide.org/articles/stress/burnout-prevention-and-recovery.htm
[2] https://hbr.org/2018/02/1-in-5-highly-engaged-employees-is-at-risk-of-burnout
[3] https://psychcentral.com/news/2018/11/11/too-much-screen-time-linked-to-anxiety-depression-in-young-children-and-teens/139931.html
The Most Common Cause Of Fatigue That Is Missed By Doctors
by Leslie Moldenauer | | Mind
Many children do not know how to cope with the world around us or to thrive in today’s society. The lack of coping skills, resilience, and stress levels in our youth is one definitive reason for the rapidly growing problem. Life is not the same as it was when I was a child; the challenging increase of electronics, video games, and the Internet. YES, I did just age myself a bit, all good.
There are many arguments for why the issue is a rapidly growing problem:
The decrease in outdoor playtime. The National Recreation and Park Association state that, “Children today spend less time outdoors than any other generation, devoting only four to seven minutes to unstructured outdoor play per day while spending an average of seven and a half hours in front of electronic media” (1). I was outside all day and only came in when the musical sound of the triangle echoed through the neighborhood. Ok, that was not my mom, but it was our neighbor with 17 children.
Children spend a massive amount of time with their heads in some electronic device, which has been shown in research studies to increase the chance of mental illness. Dr. Jean Twinge, San Diego State University psychologist and Dr. W. Keith Campbell, University of Georgia psychology professor found that after only one hour of screen time that many children exhibited lowered self-control and greater emotional instability than that or their peers (2). All parents, myself included struggle with limiting our children’s screen time. Now that I have a teen, it is only getting harder.
Administrators restricted children’s movement in school. A report by the Centers for Disease Control, which analyzed dozens of studies about how physical activity affects classroom performance, found that “recess and physical education contributed positively to the academic and behavioral performance of students” (3). Kids need more movement in school, not less. Gym class is only a couple times per week, if at all, and recess is shorter than the time it takes me to walk a city block. The lack of social interaction limits children’s ability to learn and increases the likelihood of acting out in the classroom.
There is an increase in media presence, creating fear of current events. More and more evidence points to the increased volume of media messages and a rise in fear and anxiety in children. Video games can and do alter reality for children, combining how frightening the news can be for some and accepting it as a harsh reality for others. A genuine struggle with mental wellness is the result. From March to May 2006, a survey was conducted of 218 Kindergarten through 6th-grade children regarding their fright reactions to the news. Results showed that 35.3% of children reported being frightened by the news (4). We can keep that TV off at home, but as they get older, they are exposed in other ways. For example, my 12 and 14-year-old boys are watching news related reports at school. One example is CNN 10. What is the answer?
Active shooter drills in school are a concerning issue. I participated in a three-hour training for this very purpose, and it was frightening. Barricaded doors did not stop the simulated shooter. We were taught to run away from the shooter in a zig-zag pattern, and many were shot with airsoft guns. This training was an adrenaline-pumping mad rush that left me exhausted for the rest of the day and contemplative long beyond that. Is this a misguided tool or a necessary one? Undoubtedly, the students at Columbine would have been more prepared to exit through a door that was just out of arms reach rather than hide under a desk awaiting the perpetrators’ arrival had they gone through training like this? But what does this do to the mental status of our children? What is the price? A 2018 survey by the Pew Research Foundation determined that, despite the rarity of such events, 57% of American teenagers worry about a shooting at their school (5). I believe this fear goes back to the issue of our media, and despite this being a rarity, we are doing a bang-up job at increasing anxiety levels in more than half of our students.
I could go on and on! Believe me, when I say that I am not immune to these issues, it is why I am tackling this subject today.
My boys love their Xbox. They increasingly dislike school because they are rarely allowed to speak, move about, or converse with their friends. Getting them outdoors outside of their involvement in soccer sometimes requires force. Being a single mom with multiple jobs requires me to schedule family time and put it on the calendar because even I am attached to my electronics more than I care to be sometimes. Modeling? Quite possibly, but this mom has to make ends meet just like millions of other households. I am no perfect mom, and in fact, I may struggle more than others as I do it all alone and make plenty of mistakes; life is hard for most all of us, there is no one answer to all the issues at hand.
Outside of academics, our children should be taught how to be good citizens, practice this at school, help their peers and their community, grow gardens, eat healthy food, teach them why bullying is wrong, and be taught about mental health! Yes, they should also be shown that at home, but that is not always happening. The increase of violence and disregard for human life in society points us to this conclusion.
Speaking from experience, when I am under large amounts of stress, my parenting skills take a hit. My energy oozes over to my kids, and I can see they began to argue and bicker more when I started to pay attention. Their anxieties increase, their social skills decrease; we all temporarily fall.
To be very clear, I will never be one to give parenting advice and just share my own experiences. As with anything in life, take what resonates and ditch the rest.
I share with my boys when I am under stress and why, for a variety of reasons. (I do not share all) Kids have stress! I am in school with them every day; I see it with all the kids. So, in my sharing that I have pressure too, they know that they are not alone. They know I am not perfect. They can visually see me working on my stuff, not ignoring it, not burying it, and it encourages them to learn these things much earlier than I ever did. I teach them tools now. This is one small way that I can empower them to learn what self-love means and that it is one small piece of taking care of their mental wellness.
I have many tools to my disposal, and I teach them as much as they are open to learning.
Laughter and movement are great medicine for anyone feeling overwhelmed or stressed. Be sure to hug your family often and keep the dialogue open, say what needs to be said, and take the time to listen. Live for today, treasure every moment, and love with all your heart.
Sending you all wishes for abundant health and happiness,
Xo Leslie
References
(1) https://www.nrpa.org/uploadedFiles/nrpa.org/Advocacy/Children-in-Nature.pdf
(2) https://psychcentral.com/news/2018/11/11/too-much-screen-time-linked-to-anxiety-depression-in-young-children-and-teens/139931.html
(3) https://www.additudemag.com/the-right-to-recess/
(4) https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/abs/10.1080/01463373.2012.669340?journalCode=rcqu20#.VElEJ2eIiqN
(5) https://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2019/03/active-shooter-drills-erika-christakis/580426/
Breathing Exercises to Calm Children of All Ages
STRESS! Recognizing when your Nervous System is Dangerously Overactive
by Leslie Moldenauer | | Essential Oils
Is there anyone that is stress-free? Some say that a small amount of stress is healthy, as well as we can identify “good stress” (eustress) and “bad stress” (distress). There is one thing I can agree with, that stress reduction is just as important as stress management…and this all starts with our attitude and a whole lot of self-care/self-love.
The key is working to become more stress resilient…as we know completely eliminating stress is very unlikely. –Leslie Moldenauer
When we look at things logically and with a clear head, we can see that even our youngest are under stress. School, sports, strict schedules and always being on the move can stress out parent and child alike.
Now that I am in the school system I can easily see how much stress our youth is under. There is SO MUCH PRESSURE to not only succeed but to compete. I reiterate with my boys daily that perfection is simply not attainable, or desirable. This may not be a popular opinion, but once I became very clear with my boys that straight A’s were not only not expected, but also not encouraged, they let out a big exhale.
It is much more important to me that they learn life skills, that they are good people! These things are not taught in school nearly enough. I assure you, that is not me removing my own responsibility as their mom, however, much of our youth have little education on how to deal with the emotional aspects of life……..it is just not being focused on.
There are too many boxes that children are being put into…..I say break down the boxes!
Now let us look at how hard life can be sometimes for us adults. Adults have very real problems…and many of us do not hold space for others, forgetting that even in the worst of moments…that everyone has a story, everyone has wounds, and everyone struggles…just as you do.
Ego often takes precedence over the spirit. Myself, included, sometimes when we are so buried in our own stuff we forget that others have real problems too, and maybe even more important, that others may be suffering.
So do we suffer in silence? Do we speak up? Do we ask for help? Asking for someone to hold space for us does not mean that we are looking for our problems to be solved, for anyone to truly “get involved” or anything of the sort.
You can hold space for someone by just being there. You can offer gentle, non-judgmental support and guidance. By simply being there, you can make a big difference in someone’s life. By telling my boys that I am there for them no matter what they are feeling or what they think they have “done”, it immediately reduces their stress. By showing them that their feelings are normal..and even expected, helps them to release the attachment they have to it. Separating yourself and becoming non-attached is THE single healthiest thing you can do for yourself at any given moment.
Non-attachment is freedom from ‘things’. It is removing your attachment to any particular outcome, simply letting go and enjoy the process….enjoy the present moment.
What Else Can We Do?
There are a few things that we have done that have improved things in our home in addition to truly being non-judgmental and holding space:
*We have stopped overscheduling. Sometimes in life, it is more important to “be” than to “do”. Let me tell you how painful this was for my kids at first. DO NOTHING? They thought mom had lost it. But now they actually ask for quiet time, and “most of the time” they are much more even kind and forgiving of each other.
*I make them say things out loud, sometimes in front of the mirror like “I love me”, “I am good enough” and “it is ok to make mistakes”. This was as hard as you could possibly imagine at first..and sometimes they still struggle with it, but more often than not we giggle through any awkward moments and they do amazing…(and feel amazing afterword too). Mirror work is incredibly powerful, don’t knock it until you have truly tried it multiple times.
*We as a family have had to make plenty of time to shut down our electronics. This is actually a ‘cause’ of stress in so many ways. The more we can disconnect with our electronics, social media, and games and get back to real life relationships, nature, and self-care….the less stressed we are.
Other than helping nudge their own attitude and beliefs in the right direction, we utilize aromatherapy to get us through the tougher moments, as we as a family have been handed a rough share of things in the last couple of years, as many of my readers likely have as well.
My boys have diffusers in their rooms, a variety of aroma inhalers, and have their favorite oils. My oldest loves Sweet orange (Citrus sinensis) and Sandalwood (Santalum album), but he is most affected by Lavender (Lavandula angustifolia). My youngest says, “just make me some magic mom”, but he is most affected by Sweet Orange (Citrus sinensis).
I have had many a-ha moments with kids in particular, but we aromatherapists know that they have a most profound effect on all of our emotions…some would consider them magic…myself included.
What are you inhaling today?
Want to have dozens of recipes at your fingertips along with fun, healing mantras to teach your children? Grab my ‘Aromatherapy for Kids’ book today!
Like so many practices in life, I encourage you to become educated on the proper use of essential oils. When using them, please do so cautiously, understanding that there is often misinformation on the internet. You can be assured that I support only educated and proven resources. While essential oils should not be feared they should be respected and used properly to ensure the safety of the individuals using them.
Please note that I am not a medical practitioner. The content of this website is provided for general informational purposes only and is not intended as, nor should it be considered a substitute for, professional medical advice. Do not use the information on this website for diagnosing or treating any medical or health condition. If you have or suspect you have a medical problem, promptly contact your professional healthcare provider. By using this website, you assume full responsibility and liability for your own actions.
Back to School Essential Oils and More!
Introducing the Foojin Personal Wearable Diffuser
