Am I happy? Do I follow my bliss? What is my path in life? These are just a few of the many questions that we ask ourselves on a daily basis. Some of us look into the future for our happiness….once I land my perfect job I will be happy. When I move to ____ I will be happy. When I retire I will be happy. When I pay off my debt, then I will truly be happy.
Why not be happy right now?
Happiness is not something that we “find” in the outside world. Happiness is found within ourselves. That may sound strange to you, or something you have heard hundreds of times, but sit and really think about that. Happiness should be found from within. If you think someone else is going to do it for you, you are wasting your precious time. The more you focus on things that are abundant in your life, the more you place focus on things you are grateful for, the more of it you will find. This I promise you.
Stop saying yes!
One of the main sources of unhappiness is the constant over-scheduling of our lives. How many times have you thought to yourself…if only I had more time for me! Why don’t you? Do you over schedule yourself? Say yes when you really want to say no? Spend most of your time doing things for other people? I still fall back into this habit having two boys under 10, but more often than not, I make sure to carve time out just for me, and happiness begins to creep in.
Wouldn’t it be great to say, “I am sorry, but I can’t fit that into my schedule.”
Make a list
One of my first mentor’s Dr. Deb Kern taught me to do things that make me happy. Sounds simple right? For many people it isn’t. Most mom’s are martyr’s and the first thing that may come to mind are things like spending more time with your kids, or doing things for them, seeing them smile, etc. These are NOT the kind of things I am talking about. The things that make you happy have to have NOTHING to do with another person. This is ALL about YOU.
Grab a piece of paper and a pencil. Make sure you are alone so you can have some real time to think. I want you to write a list of pleasures. Don’t leave anything out. What do you like to do? What makes you happy? What are your talents? What is something that you used to love to do only you feel you have no time for it anymore…write that down! Pleasures should include your deepest desires. Ones that may make you blush if someone else read your list. Do not leave anything out. The list may be hard to write at first, but don’t give up!
Now sit back and read what you wrote. How many things on your pleasures list do you do everyday? None? One? Many?
I found when I first made my list that I barely touched any of those things in a weeks time, or even a month! It was truly a shocking realization for me. I stared at my list and thought, where did I go wrong? When did I stop doing these things? I make sure to revisit the list often to check in with myself and make sure that I am staying on track. I know exactly where my list is at all times, because the more I do these things the more I find that I love and have to add to my list! I make sure to do at least 3 of these things every day.
I will give you a few examples of how I make that work.
*I love to write and can sit for hours at a time..but I am always sure to take breaks for a few pleasures. I get up from my desk at least once an hour and dance. Unbridled, do not care who sees me dancing. I have a favorites play list on YouTube and I move my body to songs that stir up real feelings within me. Songs that can easily make me laugh or bring me to happy tears, songs that help to me to truly find release. I sing…loudly. When I sit back down I feel amazing!
*I take aromatic baths a few times a week. I lock the door so my boys can’t come in and ask me for the million things that kids do the moment mom steps in the bathroom.
*I sit in the sun of a window (since it is winter), or on my deck in the summer and do my yoga and meditation practice. (Vitamin D is great for you too!)
My list is over 50 pleasures strong. Your first list may only have a dozen things, and that is ok. I guarantee your list will grow the more you practice.
Develop a mindset that is focused on finding and following your bliss. This means allowing time and energy to explore different things. Be willing to step outside of your comfort zone. At least a little bit. What humbles you? bringing you to your knees? What do you stand gaping, open-mouthed in awe of? Who do you love impossibly and with every inch of possibility? …is it Art? Painting? Singing? Dancing? Writing? Gardening? Cooking? What would you do even if you weren’t getting paid for it? Think about it….then do it. You can’t “find your bliss” by doing the day to day routing with no changes..no excitement. No excuses, do not say I will start tomorrow or I do not have time. Make the time!
Yes you can!
The first step is to be willing to make a change. When you are constantly worried or “stressed out”, this is not only the energy you are living in, but the energy you attract. You make bad decisions from a stressed state, “I can’t”, “I won’t”, or worse, say yes when you really can’t afford to.
Once you begin to focus on your pleasures list you will find that you can make decisions using your heart and your body, not your brain or your ego. Your heart wants the best for you; your ego operates from an entirely different place.
Get in touch with your heart
You will see once you begin thinking more about yourself, and doing things that make you happy, that you become centered and more peaceful. When working from this quieter place, you can make better decisions for your greater good. You will begin to say yes because you really want to, and no when you need to.
“Follow your bliss and the universe will open doors where there were only walls.”-Joseph Campbell
It is time!
Most of all if you are unhappy in a situation change it. I realize some things can’t happen overnight, but they can be done. I have had the pleasure of hearing stories of people selling everything they own….down to towels and sheets and moving across country, children in tow to start a new life. People quitting their job because it was not their life calling to start a whole new venture, no promises, no guarantees and been happier than ever before. Going back to school in their 40’s to start a whole new career. Leaving their husband of years without a career of their own, but needed to stand on their own two feet. I have heard story upon story of brave souls who made the change, who took that first scary step into the abyss…..to be happier than ever. You can do it too.
“Nothing is more important than reconnecting with your bliss. Nothing is as rich. Nothing is more real.” –Deepak Chopra
It is never too late to turn things around. ANYTHING IS POSSIBLE!
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