According to HelpGuide.org, burnout is “a state of emotional, physical, and mental exhaustion caused by excessive and prolonged stress. It occurs when you feel overwhelmed, emotionally drained, and unable to meet constant demands” [1]. Here are my top tips to avoid emotional and physical burnout.
Having experienced burnout myself for the better part of three years, I know it pervades every nook and cranny of your mind and body until you feel like you have cement blocks tied to your limbs and your memory is…well all but a memory….pun intended.
Mental Health Awareness Day is October 10, 2019. My goal through my business is to help guide you to be well in every way possible.
According to the Harvard Business Review, 1 in 10 employees is a high risk of burnout [2]. I am confident when I say that the number is similar if not worse for stay at home moms.
So, how can we better care for ourselves to avoid burnout?
The top three things are proper sleep, adequate nutrition and water, and moving our body. These things are the base or foundation of wellness. We cannot expect to go to bed late and wake early and expect to be able to keep up with life’s demands.
Everyone thrives from varying hours of sleep, 7-9 is ideal. Don’t fool yourself if your number is 4 or 5, this is not ideal. The fuel we provide our body will dictate our wellness. We truly are what we eat. Be sure to sip water throughout the day. ½ to 1 ounce of water per pound of body weight is the goal. If you drink dehydrating beverages such as coffee, tea, wine, or soda, you will need to up your intake.
Moving on to our basic needs, here are a few things I recommend.
Asking for Help
“Ask for help, not because you are weak, but because you want to remain strong.”-Les Brown
Have you ever found yourself thinking, “I’ve got this? I do not need any help.” Or possibly you do ask for help, and then it does not get done the way you would have done it, and you say to yourself, “Nothing gets done right around here unless I do it myself!” Perfectionist anyone? I am saying this from my own life experience. This was me, big-time!
Ask for help! You are human, so let the notion of, “I can do it all by myself,” go. I will not argue the fact that you can, in fact, do it all by yourself, but at what expense is the question. At the end of the day, if it aids you in taking better care of yourself, you are winning. Keep it up!
Speak your Truth
This sounds simple enough, right? Well, for many of us, not so much. We fear what others will think, we worry about how we may be perceived. “Can’t handle it”, or “not good enough” type thinking can be troublesome for many of us.
Speak your truth, in all of your relationships. But by far, the number one person you need to be truthful with is yourself. It is ok to admit that you do not have it all together. It is ok to admit you’re overwhelmed. It is ok to admit that you’re angry and resentful.
It is ok to not be ok.
Whatever it is, communicate it as calmly and lovingly as you can. Yes, even negative feelings need to be expressed when you are in a good place to do so. Holding in feelings of any kind is completely toxic to one person, in particular, you.
Creating your Container
“Boundaries are a part of self-care. They are healthy, normal, and necessary.”-Doreen Virtue
So, what do I mean by a container? Create, honor and follow through with clear boundaries! Boundaries are created to protect your energy. Honor what is yours and what is not. Do not allow others to cross the boundaries you have set for yourself.
To clear energy and purify our container it helps to perform rituals of sorts in order to move toward this goal. This can include meditation, mindfulness, practicing non-attachment, yoga, dance, song, and journaling; anything that brings you total peace and quiets the mind.
This also includes letting go of past hurts and deciding this is your time. It is time for letting go of what anyone else thinks, and living for one person, you.
Let’s shift to boundaries. A therapist shared this analogy, and it really stuck with me:
You buy a new house with a lovely flower box across the whole front yard. As you are tending to your flowers, a neighbor walks down the sidewalk and says, “That looks like crap! You need to do something about that. You call that gardening?” You smile and try to ignore him, and he walks away. You look at your flowers and decide you really like them! The next day you go to tend to your flowers and they have been torn out, ripped up from the roots. You head to the store and purchase something a bit different and replant them. Again, the neighbor walks by and insults your green thumb.
Are you going to say something or be quiet?
Does it matter that he does not like it?
Did you change your choice of flowers with the hope of pleasing him? Enter boundaries. Of course, you say something! This is your yard! You are not planting to please him, right?
Shift this to your real life. Do you have boundaries, or do you let others tell you how you should think, talk or act?
This is one very small piece of healthy boundaries.
One of the biggest aspects of creating boundaries is in knowing what you are willing to accept whether from family, friends, colleagues or strangers. The only person in this lifetime who you are going to be able to change is yourself. Letting go of the need to understand others is really hard, but it is important to try.
Reignite your Passion
One (of many) reasons why I experienced severe burnout is that I lost myself as a stay at home mom. I am a born nurturer, and if there is one thing I do very well, it is the role of a mother. But through 10 years at home, I really began to lose myself.
I love to draw and paint, I love to write, sing, dance, practice yoga, garden, and many other things that allow creative expression of self. I lost almost all of those things, and when I tried to resurrect them, I was already teetering dangerously close to adrenal burnout that it was a little to late to turn it around.
Do what you love!
This applies to jobs, relationships, all of it. If it cannot be fixed or reborn, it needs your careful self-examination.
Limit Screen Time
Just as I encourage those of our youngest generation, we need to limit screen time, news and social media and recharge.
Dr. Jean Twinge, San Diego State University psychologist and Dr. W. Keith Campbell, University of Georgia psychology professor found that after only one hour of screen time that many children exhibited lowered self-control and greater emotional instability than that or their peers [3]. Adults are no different!
This includes violent TV programming, especially if you are an empath or a highly sensitive person (HSS). Bring in as much joy as you are able.
Treat Yourself
Bliss Bath
Rose Absolute (Rosa x damascene) 6 drops
Lavender (Lavandula angustifolia) 4 drops
Epsom salt 1 cup
Unscented fragrance-free shampoo 1 Tbsp
Full fat crème ½ cup (optional)
Mix and add to bath after the water has run.
Light a candle, grab a glass of wine or sparkling water and relax.
Diffuser Blend
Turn the timer on your diffuser before you slip under the covers with your favorite nighttime blend.
Here is one of mine:
Lavender (Lavandula angustifolia) 4 drops
Marjoram (Origanum majorana) 3 drops
Ylang-ylang (Cananga odorata) 2 drops
Neroli (Citrus aurantium) 1 drop
If you feel that you are exhausted all of the time, this is your body trying to tell you something. Listen in before it begins to scream.
Take care of yourself!
Sending you wishes for abundant health and happiness.
xo Leslie
References
[1] https://www.helpguide.org/articles/stress/burnout-prevention-and-recovery.htm
[2] https://hbr.org/2018/02/1-in-5-highly-engaged-employees-is-at-risk-of-burnout
