by Leslie Moldenauer | | Mind
No doctor, therapist, healer, or external being can heal you. He/she can be a catalyst, can inspire you and motivate you. They can help you to see things that you already know deep down. They can hold up that mirror in front of your face, to be that gentle reminder of who is in there, and what you are all about….no doubt about that. But you have to make the decision, you have to do the work, you are the one you’ve been waiting for..you are the healer.
We all know that February is heart health month. I want to place the focus on the hearts’ role of the soul. Being healthy, the act of obtaining and maintaining health has a whole lot more to do with your mindset, your self-love, your tribe than what is on your plate and how much you exercise. This is not to diminish the importance of those things, but to bring more awareness to the fact that if you are eating pristinely, exercising every day, staying hydrated and getting plenty of sleep…. if what you feed your mind with and surround yourself with is negative in nature, you will never be healthy.
I am not writing this post because I am an expert…is anyone? I am writing this because I know quite a lot, through life experiences. Things that presented themselves to me so that I could grow stretch and move on…not so that I could repeat these things over and over in life.
News and Social Media
One of the first things we need to analyze is how much negativity we are allowing into our space day in and day out. As much as we think we can watch the news every day, scroll through Facebook the moment we wake up or the last thing before we close our eyes at night…..those negative energies we allow in truly live in us. I very rarely turn on the news and began unfriending/unfollowing negative people, pages, and groups. I very rarely watch horror movies, crime shows, etc. I am an empath, and in order to not only survive but thrive as one, if I want my soul to be at peace, and live a positive life…..that does not feed my soul, so it is out. Those days of ‘saving’ someone from themselves….over. NEVER again.
Do the stories you allow on your feeds, on your TV, at work, maybe even your home…are they feeding your soul?
True Health
Finding true health is not about doing everything right, walking the walk every single day, and having everything go your way. It is not about staying in a hole and ignoring the negative things. That is not what I mean. It is a way of being. It is a way of showing up with honesty, showing up for your life fully…and surrounding yourself with others that do the same. Really finding your tribe. Those people that feed your soul, and you can do the same for them.
My healing crisis, my soul assassination were complete blessings. It was a call from my spirit to wake the fuck up, see how I was abusing myself, how I was ignoring my soul and allowing my own ego and the egos of others to affect me. I would not trade my hardships for the world. The lessons have been amazingly powerful and finding my true tribe a blessing.
Now that I am listening, I have gotten back to my gifts. I am creating art again, got back on my yoga mat. Make conscious times away from any outside media and negativity and quiet my mind.
I am curating things for you as well. Through my growth and new approach to living life, I have shifted my business model, my passion, my mission to speaking on mental wellness.
I will be sharing what I have learned. I will peel away the layers of healing. Helping you to find yourself. Helping you to see that you are good enough, always were, always will be. I will share with you directly and indirectly. By doing what I do and being who I am. Passion, compassion, creativity, nurturing, sensuality, receptivity, raw, real.
Wishing you abundant health and happiness xo
Leslie
Mental Wellness Revolution..the time has come
by Leslie Moldenauer | | Mind
Tuesday, March 20, the first day of spring, is officially here! The first day of spring is called the vernal equinox (sometimes also referred to as the spring equinox or March equinox). And although the weather can still be pretty precarious for many parts of the United States, if you take some time to look around, you will be sure to find signs of re-birth all around you, green tips of beautiful flowering bulbs and perennials showing themselves, buds on the trees begging to open and shine brightly. And it is a time for us to shine brightly too. The spring equinox is a very energetic time, and for those that can tap into that, a very powerful time of year. Burst forth into spring! It is your time!!!
NEW BEGINNINGS!
Did you smile just reading that? Sit and smile, feel how good that smile makes you feel, imagine how good it will make others feel too! Share it, often. Spring’s energy of rebirth and transformation is truly palpable. Everything is smiling! Leave behind the things that you have been struggling with. Science has shown that we can simply decide, “I am not going to (insert thought or behavior) anymore.” We have to want it. It can be done! What do you want to leave behind today? Self-criticism? Someone’s bad energy? A bad habit perhaps? A toxic job? The possibilities are truly endless.
I am proof that this can be done. I sat on a few things for months and months, questioning my gut, I was off my game and my empathic abilities were definitely rusty…or so I thought. I was actually spot on, and with a gentle nudge, I just walked away. I needed to see it, feel it, heck even a psychic revealed what I already knew. I had to bring out the trash, the things, thoughts, habits, and people that were holding me back, and this spring promises more bounty and growth for me than ever before. And for you, if you do the work!
I have been focusing on what I call the three M’s to breakthrough, transform and grow. Mindfulness, meditation, and manifestation. Three extremely powerful practices. I want to get really personal and share some examples of how I use them in my life.
Mindfulness
How many times a day are you doing one thing but thinking about something else? I will pause while you laugh. This likely explains much of your day-to-day, right? How many times have your children or friend or spouse stood right in front of you asking a question or telling you a story of something that just happened, and you shake your head and say, “I’m sorry, what?” My guess would be quite a lot. Mindfulness can really make a huge difference here in how you bring yourself to center throughout the day.
The beginning of Mindfulness is breath. This is what brings you back to the present moment. This does not need to be meditation in the form of sitting atop a meditation cushion, in silence, eyes closed, the world stops… Mindfulness is purposefully focusing your intention on the current moment and nothing else and accepting it exactly as it is. This should be cultivated in everything you do, in every moment of the day.
Here is one example of a mindful experience, happening much slower than you are reading it of course:
Begin to really notice things around you. You open the front door and head out for a walk around the neighborhood. Hear and acknowledge the sound of your feet hitting the street. Really see the trees, flowers, and grass blowing in the wind. You pass someone on the street. Smile at them, not just a casual look right through them, smile, but really mean the smile, be present with them and lock eyes for that moment. Acknowledge the transfer of energy that takes place. Feel the breeze on your skin. Is it cool or warm? Can you feel the hairs moving on your arm? Is the sun shining on you? Can you really feel your skin smile as this is what it has been waiting for? Can you hear birds? Really open your ears and listen. Focus on this sense. What is in their birdsong? Look up at the sky and see clouds floating by. Can you make any of them into a shape? Contemplate how big the universe is and how lucky and grateful you are to be a part of it; yet how small you are in it. Feel your feet hit the ground. Feel the sensations in your feet, your legs, your back, and your arms. Maybe you notice a bee pollinating a flower. Stop walking and get up close. Look at all of the pollen on the bee’s legs and body. Think about the cycle of life. Thank the bee for all of the flowers, fruit, vegetables, etc.
Smile and continue walking. This is one small example of true mindfulness. Truly being in the moment.
Now, image how truly spectacular you would feel after this experience! Cultivated every day, you can practice this in every activity you do! From this powerful walk to an afternoon outside with your kids, even doing the dishes! A truly powerful tool for the mind.
Meditation
Meditation is one of the most, if not the most powerful tool in your toolbox to train your mind. Its therapeutic benefits are now being recognized and adopted all around the world. Most recently in schools, which is so super exciting. Children should be taught these skills early, the world will be a better place for it.
Meditation can be applied to any situation and used anywhere, it does not need to be sitting cross-legged on top of a meditation pillow or bench.
I have been meditating for 13 years. I have built my daily practice to about 30-45 minutes a day, but I consider myself more of a seasoned veteran. Meditation does not need to be completed for this length of time to be effective.
The length of time is not a magic number, but experts say it is far better to consistently sit for 5 minutes every day than have a long 45-minute session once a week [1].
Many believe that the purpose of meditation is to have no thoughts at all. This is the main reason why so many shy away from trying it. Get ready to smile again, because that is not really the goal at all! Even experts will have a thought come in from time to time. The goal is to acknowledge the feeling, do not entertain it or attach emotion to it, just let it peacefully leave. Breath is the primary focus, but there are many ways to meditate, many techniques. You can utilize an object, sound, colors and more. So that means that you can play around with what works best for you. I can even perform meditation while taking a walk. Training the brain is really so beneficial to everyday life, as the external events around us can be so tumultuous at times. But we can decide not to let those things going on around us, come in.
Manifestation
I have just recently begun a true manifestation practice. I have dabbled in it for years, but never really understood what I was doing other than ‘wishing’ for something. But really, that is the tip of the iceberg of this practice. Carrie Green, author of “She Means Business’ and kick-ass entrepreneur and founder of the Female Entrepreneur Association, calls it showing up for your dreams [2]. Her simple suggestions of how to practice have really kicked my manifestation skills into high gear.
Carrie suggests a practice very similar to guided imagery, and IT WORKS. I was just speaking to a friend 48 hours ago about a product I was looking for, only it needed to be unique and made by a true craftsman. I meditated on it before bed that evening, and thought about it again in great detail in the morning, what it would look like, the color, even the smell of the wood, and no kidding, less than 24 hours later this person who fits the bill as does his amazing product, found me on Instagram. No out loud announcement was made, just true manifestation.
I am reading a book as a part of a book club called E2. This is a #1 New York Times bestseller and has nine do-it-yourself energy experiments that prove your thoughts create your reality. My words can not explain how powerful this really is….but author Pam Grout does a pretty good job. Please check it out for yourself [3].
Lastly, this video appeared on Facebook today, and I just love it. It plays very nicely off of this article today, and I ask that you take a minute to watch it.
You can find it and more like it on Prince Ea’s Facebook page.
Everyone Needs To See This
Depression, Anxiety, and Panic Attacks are NOT signs of weakness, they are signs of trying to remain strong for far too long. Mental illness is nothing to be ashamed of. Neither is talking about it. And we, as a society, need to talk about it more!
Posted by Prince Ea on Sunday, March 18, 2018
If you are interested in learning more about practices like these, please reach out at Lifeholistically@gmail.com. I would be honored to help guide you to push past what is holding you back.
Namaste…..
Like so many practices in life, I encourage you to become educated on the proper use of essential oils. When using them, please do so cautiously, understanding that there is often misinformation on the internet. You can be assured that I support only educated and proven resources. While essential oils should not be feared they should be respected and used properly to ensure the safety of the individuals using them.
Please note that I am not a medical practitioner. The content of this website is provided for general informational purposes only and is not intended as, nor should it be considered a substitute for, professional medical advice. Do not use the information on this website for diagnosing or treating any medical or health condition. If you have or suspect you have a medical problem, promptly contact your professional healthcare provider. By using this website, you assume full responsibility and liability for your own actions.
References
[1] https://mindfulnessandpsychotherapy.com/how-long-should-i-meditate/
[2] Green, C. (2017). She means business: Turn your ideas into reality and become a wildly successful entrepreneur. Carlsbad, CA: Hay House.
[3] Grout, P. (2013). E Squared: Nine do-it-yourself energy experiments that prove your thoughts create your reality. London: Hay House Insights.
by Leslie Moldenauer | | Essential Oils, Mind, Spirit, Uncategorized
Self-Love A-Z
How much attention do you place on self-love? Is it your number one priority in your day-to-day? Even as a full-time mom and entrepreneur, with many balls up in the air at all times, self-lovin’ is still numero uno for me. I am a list maker, I have lists in my journal, post-it notes, whiteboards, even spoken lists into my phone. I call these my “Leslie stays sane” lists, and in making them, I allow myself reprieve from the hundreds of things that are always in my head.
Recently, I tried an A-Z list. I included the idea in my most recent book, “Mom’s Essential Oil Evolution” for two reasons, it was a lot of fun, and it worked great! It takes work, but I have compiled an A-Z list for you and incorporated a few tips along the way.
A. Ask for help
If you are anything like me, a strong, confident and very stubborn woman, you may find yourself thinking, “I’ve got this. I do not need any help.” Or possibly you do ask for help, and then it does not get done the way you would have done it, and you say to yourself, “Nothing gets done right around here unless I do it myself!” Perfectionist anyone? I am saying this from my own life experience. This was me, big-time!
Ask for help! It could be as simple as calling a friend and asking him or her to make a meal, pick up take-out, or take the baby for a walk so you can take a bath! You are human, so let the notion of, “I can do it all by myself,” go. I will not argue the fact that you can, in fact, do it all by yourself, but at what expense is the question.
B. Be you!
C. Comparison be gone!
I do not compare myself to others. I may analyze marketing of other entrepreneurs, admire someone’s work ethic, or honor someone’s amazing energy..but I never compare myself to someone else in looks, accomplishments or goals, ever.
Why is this? I believe that comparing can be a real energy sucker. It breeds jealousy and envy. The only person I compare myself to is the person I was yesterday, always looking for self-improvement.
Comparison is the thief of joy!
D. Drop old beliefs
E. Embrace your strengths
There is no better way that I know to embrace your strengths than reminding yourself of them, often. But I think it is equally important to try new things, discover more. Know that you can push yourself. I do not think that we should allow ourselves to become stagnant, so to speak. Cultivate your strengths, find new ones, challenge yourself.
F. Forget the negative
G. Get out in nature
Nothing brings my spirit more peace than nature. Water is the best for me, being a water sign. But I love very simple things like watching the clouds float by, sitting in complete silence and watching the stars, as well as a vigorous hike in the mountains. I have been blessed to hike mountains all over the world, some of the best moments of my life. Get out in nature, let your bare feet make contact with the earth, feel the sand in your toes, or even the snow! Brrr….
H. Hobbies!
I. Invest in your growth
“Everyone wants to live on top of the mountain, but all the happiness and growth occurs while you’re climbing it.” Andy Rooney
Some people are perfectly happy with what they have and who they are, and while I have great appreciation for loving yourself, all of yourself, there still has to be growth. I think this is different from change. Everyone has places to improve whether internally, in business, in friendships, in love, etc.
Growth should never stop, what are you focusing on today?
J. Journal the good, the bad and the ugly
K. Keep your chin up
Everyone at some point in their lives will find themselves in tough times. It is important to embrace the feelings, acknowledge them and keep moving forward. Do not allow yourself to sit in the negative moments for too long. Try to remember that even hard times pass.
Keep in mind too, that as everyone goes through hard times, some harder than others…always practice kindness with everyone you meet. This is so incredibly important.
L. Love, laugh, live!
M. Maintain your healthy boundaries
Create, honor and follow through with clear boundaries! Boundaries are created to protect your energy. Honor what is yours and what is not. Do not allow others to cross the boundaries you have set for yourself.
A book I recommend you purchase and study if you have not already done so, is “The Four Agreements,” by Don Miguel Ruiz. This book has quite literally changed my life. Ruiz’s lessons are paramount to understanding our boundaries. The four agreements are as follows:
1. Be impeccable with your word
2. Don’t take anything personally
3. Don’t make assumptions
4. Always do your best [1]
Are you clear on your boundaries? If not take some time to write them down. Be true to them.
“Boundaries are a part of self-care. They are healthy, normal, and necessary.”-Doreen Virtue
N. Never give up, but learn how to say no
O. Only positive self-talk
What does your self-talk sound like? Positive? If not, this takes some work, but it can be changed…and I encourage you to work on it. Every cell in your body listens to what you say, and your mind absolutely believes it. So care for yourself, even when you are not talking out loud. Love you!
P. Practice saying NO
Q. Be quiet
What do I mean when I say be quiet? Practice mindfulness. How many times a day are you doing one thing but thinking about something else? I will pause while you laugh. This likely explains much of your day-to-day, right? How many times have your children stood in front of you asking a question or telling you a story of something that just happened, and you shake your head and say, “I’m sorry, what?”
The beginning of mindfulness is breath. This is what brings you back to the present moment. This does not need to be meditation in the form of sitting atop a meditation cushion, in silence, eyes closed, the world stops… Mindfulness is purposefully focusing your intention on the current moment and nothing else and accepting it exactly as it is. This should be cultivated in everything you do, in every moment of the day.
If you would like to cultivate this practice, I recommend the book Peace Is Every Step, by Thich Nhat Hanh [2].
R. Reminder lists
S. Speak your truth
Speak your truth. Not only in your relationship with your partner but with friends and family too. By far, the number one person you need to be truthful with is yourself. It is ok to admit that you do not have all you’re shit together. It is ok to admit you’re overwhelmed. It is ok to admit that you’re angry and resentful. It is ok to not be ok. Whatever it is, communicate it as calmly and lovingly as you can. Yes, even negative feelings need to be expressed when you are in a good place to do so. Holding in feelings of any kind is completely toxic to one person in particular, you. Forget the notion of being afraid to rock the boat. Create a tidal wave!
T. Take time to reflect
U. Unwind. This is a BIG word, isn’t it.
This is all about self-care. Not watching TV or scrolling Facebook. Take some time for yourself. Really treat yourself, each and every day.
V. Visualization, aka guided imagery
W. Celebrate the WINS!
As women, we often get hung up on the to-do list and thoughts of the future. What needs to be done tomorrow, next week, what will next year look like, how will you make it all come together? Although, all of those things are important, as we are often the glue that holds everything and everyone together, it is really important to always celebrate growth and success.
Any kind of celebration does a couple of things to your body and your mind. Your endorphins flow and you are left feeling exhilarated, confident, and ready to take on the world. Even the small things are worthy of celebration. Was the to-do list long and you managed to get a couple of things checked off, and you did them really well? Were you able to help a friend through something and left them feeling loved and supported? Were you able to do something special to pamper yourself today? All of those are worthy moments! Celebrations reinforce future success, so go for it!
X. Examine your feelings
Y. It is all about YOU
Here is one of my favorite inhaler synergies, just for you!
Self lovin’, self-care, winning!
Z. Zero tolerance for those who seek to violate your boundaries
References
[1] Ruiz, D. M. (1997). The Four Agreements: Practical Guide to Personal Freedom. San Rafael, CA: Amber-Allen Publishing, U.S.
[2] Hạnh, N. (2013). Peace is Every Step. Bantam/AJP.
Hoffmann, D. (2003).
Please note that I am not a medical practitioner. The content of this website is provided for general informational purposes only and is not intended as, nor should it be considered a substitute for, professional medical advice. Do not use the information on this website for diagnosing or treating any medical or health condition. If you have or suspect you have a medical problem, promptly contact your professional healthcare provider. By using this website, you assume full responsibility and liability for your own actions.
by Leslie Moldenauer | | Body, Mind, Spirit
December 21st is the day of the Solstice. The word solstice comes from the Latin sol (“sun”) and sistere (“to stand still” or “to make stand”). It is time to pause, to stand still.
When you look at your life as a whole, your day after day, your routine…..how much time do you allow for standing still? This may sound like an odd question, but outside of the hours of slumber, how much time in your day do you spend doing things that you really love that involve being “somewhat” still. A cup of tea, a good book, a bath, drawing, painting, or whatever you’re passionate about? (Not talking about a good run here, or sitting on the couch watching TV)
Overall, our bodies are meant for movement just as much as they are meant for stillness. I acknowledge that in order to maintain health our bodies must move, daily. It is however equally important to embrace the stillness. It is all about balance.
I know a whole host of people who never take their vacation time from work because they are too busy or think they do not have time to rest? Say that again? If you are one of these individuals, I mean no offense when I say this is crazy talk! Much like the seasons, we are all meant for the same cycles. We have way too much movement, too much chaos, and too much busyness to our lives. To do lists as far as the eye can see, beating ourselves up at the end of the day for not getting enough done….and oftentimes the moments that we do take for rest we have feelings of guilt and regret. Days of being so “busy”, but not doing anything particularly well…..having a spot on clean house, chores done, but you are completely and utterly exhausted! How is that working for you?
It is time for a change!
This new year, drop the New Year’s resolutions. I have never been a fan. Why do I say this? A number of reasons actually. I make changes every.single.day. Every single day is a day to start over. A new beginning. A day to do better than yesterday. Setting one day a year to start everything anew and then beating yourself up when you falter? This is a waste of time and sets you up for unneeded negativity and guilt!
Do I do anything in the new year? So many things! A vision board is where I begin. I create what I want to do, how I want to feel as if I already have an abundance of it in my life. I grab a big piece of poster board, markers, cut-outs of magazines, and my artist ability (we all have some) and I go nuts. Never stop dreaming. Puts those dreams on your board. This has nothing to do with exercise, your diet, your “shoulds”, NONE OF THAT. No shoulding on yourself! I am talking your vision of who you want to be…who you are….DREAM BIG! Think Law of Attraction here.
What else do I do? I journal daily, perform self-care rituals every day, write a gratitude list before bed every evening, and have begun to embrace some new things in my life due to a few very special people who are holding the mirror in front of my face, helping me to really, truly, for the first time in a long time…..stand in my power. We are all much more powerful than we realize…and when you realize it to be true for you….watch out world!
Stay tuned as I begin to share many new things with all of you.
Our bodies were meant for rest. Go inside, embody the time of the solstice. Understand that winter is an important period to go internally, a time to rest, a time to prepare for rebirth. What will you reemerge as in 2018?
by Leslie Moldenauer | | Essential Oils, Mind
The holidays are a time of family, friends, and good cheer. Being grateful, kind, and oftentimes giving more than receiving is what we moms and dads do. Spending time with family can bring about different emotions, anywhere from excitement to dread. It makes no difference which it is for you, they both come with their fair share of stress. Here are a few tips to stay sane this holiday season.
Moms tend to take on way too much and take it upon ourselves to make sure that everyone is happy. This begins well before Thanksgiving. We step away from our normal schedule and routine and prepare ourselves for a marathon of sorts. More often than not taking on more than one person ever should, dusting off our Superwoman capes. If you have children, especially small children, the holidays can be truly exhausting.
So, I got to thinking, how about I share some tips to help us stay sane? Keep everyone alive, you know that sort of thing. Wink. So without further adieu, here are my top 10 tips for staying sane during the holiday season without killing your kids! (Said in jest)
1. Acceptance of what is
I practice this daily. Sometimes I find myself fighting what is happening in my life, rather than simply accepting what is being put in front of me, at the moment. Think about that statement. Rather than inserting things like, “This is unfair”, “I wish things were different”, or “if only they___”, begin accepting things exactly as they are. Because let’s be honest, if you are saying those things to yourself, you causing yourself additional stress. Know that most everything is short-lived, a grain of sand on the beach. Know that everyone is doing his or her best. And most importantly, know that truly mastering this is one of the most empowering feelings that there is! It will help you to see clearly, and be able to love everything and everyone; for all that it is, for it is the reality. Life is not happening to you after all. Did part of your meal get messed up? Were family members late? Not grateful? Leave early? Kids fighting? Take a deep breath, all of these things make for the perfect day..accept what is.
Here are a couple of possible affirmations to repeat to yourself through the day as needed:
*I accept that there are limitless possibilities for myself and others.
*I am learning to accept others as they are, we are all doing our best.
2.Hydration
Why would I put this as number two? Well, nearly all of us are somewhat dehydrated on a daily basis, many of us chronically so. Add to that the extra cocktails that happen around the holidays, and “typically” a lot of excess sugar consumption (excess sugar will further deplete hydration) and enter sluggishness, muscle aches and possible cramping, increased risk of illness, and an overall grumpy Gus. If you want to be at your best, make sure you stay hydrated, always. It will make a big difference. If you fear that you are already pretty dehydrated on a daily basis, plain water simply may not be enough for you to hydrate.
*Tip: Make this easy recipe at home for a tasty treat that will be sure to hydrate you in no time!
-Pour approximately 8 cups of water into a pitcher
-Warm-up one cup of the 8 cups in the microwave or on the stovetop
-Add to the warm water 5 tbsp raw honey and ½ to ¾ tsp pink Himalayan sea salt. Mix well. Pour into the remaining 7 cups water and squeeze in the juice of one lemon, or ½ lemon and ½ lime.
Drink throughout the day.
3. Your kitchen is your sacred space, your oasis
During the holiday, make solid intentions surrounding your kitchen space. What do I mean by this? Do not allow yourself to be stressed in your sanctuary. This is your oasis. On my refrigerator I have a mantra written on a piece of paper that reads, “Smile and breathe…nourishing and caring for your body is a pleasure, never a chore”. Prepare nourishing food as much as you can around the holidays. Do not succumb to the expectations from others of a smorgasbord of sticky sugary treats. If you and only you choose to make a decadent treat, do that with intention. If it feels ok for you to do so, bless your food before you eat it. Always sit and savor your meal. Never eat while standing or on the run.
Remember the old saying, the kitchen is the heart of the home? Do not go it alone, that by itself is super stressful. I never enjoyed slaving away in the kitchen while I listened to everyone enjoying themselves in the other room, and I bet you don’t either. Let go of the reigns for your sanity. If someone enters your sacred space give him or her a job to do. Ask for help. Working together will give you more time to spend with your loved ones, or have more moments alone if that is what you need to thrive.
4.Tea time
Take time for an herbal tea when the night is quiet (or the early morning).
For me being a night owl, this ritual works best for me after my children are in bed, but if your sweet spot is early morning before anyone is awake..do that.
I sit with all the Christmas lights lit if the cats are away I run a diffuser as well (remember cats and essential oils do not mix). I put in herbs that lessen stress and promote a good night’s sleep. Some great herbs to try are lavender, chamomile, passionflower, lemon balm or valerian root.
**Since I am not aware of your medical history or medications, please do your due diligence and make sure that these herbs are safe for your consumption.
No TV, no phone, no to-do lists running through my head, just silence. I sit and sip, I think about what I am grateful for, I call in all the good, and release what did not work for me that day back to the Universe. Something about the complete silence, the lights, and focusing on the good that not only helps me sleep soundly, but also helps me to awaken refreshed and ready to take on the next day.
If you are more of a morning person, white tea may be ideal. Many love the taste of Matcha and it is superior to health. Try what works for you, just make sure you pair it with at least 10 minutes of blissful silence with thoughts of gratitude.
5. Be open to change
Listen to your gut. Be flexible. If you find yourself thinking “why am I even doing this”…maybe it is time to let it go! Just because historically everyone was up and ready to open gifts at 6 am, does not mean a change is not in order if you were up late on Christmas Eve (unless you have children jumping on your bed of course). You usually spend Christmas running from house to house to house, and no one enjoys himself or herself? Arrange for one event the day after Christmas. Yes, some sacrifices may need to be made all around, but be open to change to reach the common goal, togetherness and memory-making.
6. Forgive yourself….as you will have less than finer moments
Mom..mom..mom..mom..mom..mom..mom..Yes, there will be less than finer moments where you snap on your kids…why? Because you’re human! Kids are excited this time of year too! Everything is bigger, brighter, louder and as a result, your kids may act less than stellar! Keep this in mind when you feel what I like to call “ready to pop”. Change the perspective, put yourself in their shoes and take a moment to get down to their level. Here are a few great reasons to forgive yourself if you falter:
-Hey, last I checked no-one is perfect. I share a quote on my page and it fits pretty well here…Your kids do not need you to be perfect, they just need you! Trust me, they will forgive you quicker than you forgive you for losing your patience. Give them a hug, reach out for a tickle, cuddle, read a book together, help them to slow down the pace. It will help you both.
-Christmas is much like your wedding day. You spend so much time beforehand freaking out that something will go wrong…and it is likely that something will, and does…and NO ONE NOTICED! Take a deep breath. Even if something does not go as you had planned, it is likely no one will notice or care!
-You, above everyone, even your children, deserve your love, care, and forgiveness. We are our worst critics for sure. Give yourself even half the love and forgiveness that you give your kids on any given day and your GOLDEN!
A great book entitled “A Course in Miracles” by Helen Schucman (1) stated:
“You are spirit, pure, whole, and innocent. All is forgiven and released.”
Now, THIS is an amazing affirmation if I ever heard one. Memorize it and speak it often!
7.Aromatherapy
I could not make a list such as this without addressing aromatherapy. If you are having a larger gathering, diffusing is not a good idea, but there are a few others that will work just as well!
Utilize aromatherapy inhalers. Aromatherapy pendants or bracelets are other great options. You can apply a few drops of your favorite oil or oil blend and it will go a long way to keep you calm, focused, grounded, provide a pick-me-up, or whatever will work best for you in any situation. Be prepared!
Here are a few oil blends that I recommend (these are all kid-safe):
Zero In (focus blend)
Vetiver Vetiveria zizanoides 2 drops
Lavender Lavandula angustifolia 8 drops
Lime Citrus aurantifolia 5 drops
Amount of drops is appropriate for an aromastick inhaler
Green Light Go (pick me up blend)
Spearmint Mentha spicata 5 drops
Lemon Citrus limon 5 drops
Lime Citrus aurantifolia 5 drops
Amount of drops is appropriate for an aromastick inhaler
Woesbegone (calming master blend)
Mandarin red Citrus reticulata 15 drops
Orange sweet Citrus sinensis 8 drops
Sandalwood Santalum spicatum (I prefer Western Australian Sandalwood for aroma and sustainability)
6 drops
Frankincense Boswellia carteri 4 drops
Vetiver Vetiveria zizanoides 2 drops
Mix and store in an amber or cobalt glass bottle in the fridge. Use in an inhaler, diffuser, or necklace/bracelet.
For more kid-friendly recipes like this >>>Aromatherapy for Kids, safe and sound
8.Drop the preconceived notions
We can attach preconceived notions to just about anything. I used to be very “specific” we shall say…cough cough…about how I wanted my Christmas tree decorated. This year, as a newly single mom…I handed over the job to my boys. They looked at me and said…”Mom, are you sure?”…I said “I am”, and I have not rearranged any of it. It is perfect just as it is. One simple and basic step to letting go of things being “just so” gave me a surprising sense of relief.
This can apply to endless things surrounding the holidays, the meals were just right, who helps clean up, how long you stay at guests homes, getting the perfect gift or having it in the perfect wrapping (one of my family members cringes when you rip wrapping paper, you need to carefully peel the tape, so it can be reused) =0 ….or yes, even how your children behave at Aunt Cathy’s house. Or how Aunt Cathy is viewing your children’s behavior from across the room.
Through the many times of stress and moments when you may want to scream like a crazy lady, try deep breathing instead. This 4-7-8 breathing technique was created by Dr. Andrew Weil, M.D. See his video here (2)
The basis of this 4-7-8 breath is meant to create a deep awareness of our breathing. It works wonders, and the great thing is no one will even know that you are doing it! If you embrace it, the 4-7-8 breath will become a habit in no time! For those of you saying, I breathe every second of every day…so not the same. Practice it and you will be sure to notice the difference immediately.
9. Take a mini-vacation
Oh, the wonder of guided imagery. I have used it to get through some really tough times in my life. Guided imagery has been shown to reduce the stress hormone cortisol! (3) If you are not familiar with what guided imagery is, you lay in a comfortable position where you know you will not need to move for a good 20 minutes. Pillows, blankets, eye pillow, diffuser running, the whole kitchen sink. Ideally using good headphones, listen to a guided imagery audio file. You can find some decent ones on YouTube or any other music program such as Spotify or Pandora, etc. They will take you away to a beach, a forest floor or a garden grove for example. You will use all of your senses to be there fully, and your guide will help to paint the picture. Not all of us will enjoy the same person’s voice, but I do have my favorite which I will share with you.
Go to Meditainment.com. There are 7 minutes of samples of a few different scenarios or locations if you will. You can pay a bundle price of around $30 for all of the audio clips. There are almost 2 dozen and are all 20 minutes long. (I am NOT an affiliate) The ladies’ voice/accent is super soothing, and it is done very well. I have always been fully relaxed after completing a 20-minute session, and get up feeling refreshed and ready to start over. Go check it out!
10.The gift of time
Let time standstill. I have four examples of how you can do this, try one or all of them and see what works best for you.
-Holiday party (at night) is loud and you are feeling anxious, kids fully loaded on sugar running around, maybe some adults with too much to drink…..quietly step outside unnoticed. Move to a dark spot where no one can see you and just look up at the stars. Lift your arms to the universe if that feels comfortable for you. Bask in the glory of the world and that you are a part of it. Contemplate the vast sky. If you can see the moon, close your eyes momentarily and feel the connection, which is your womb (Yes, even if you do not have your uterus anymore, the energetics are still there). Bless the moon shining down upon you. Listen to the sounds around you. Be grateful to be alive and in your body, your container. Bonus if it is snowing down on you!
-Find your inner child. When the world is quiet (or if you have to search for that piece of silence) lean back and close your eyes. Picture yourself as a child, and he or she is standing in front of you, needing you. Let him or her sit on your lap. Caress their hair, cuddle with them, look into their eyes and tell them that they are good enough, tell them that everything is going to be ok. Whatever feels right here, do that and for whatever length of time, you need. See your child self smile and feel secure and safe. Open your eyes. Now go and treat yourself this EXACT SAME WAY.
-You just got out of the shower and thankfully no kids are there to ask for something, and no cats or dogs are at the door using their paw to try and join you. Blissful silence. Place a towel over the toilet and sit with your favorite lotion or oil. Rather than rushing through this practice of moisturizing, be super-mindful. Feel your hand on your skin, feel the hair on your arms, the temperature of your skin, knead and massage as you go. Love your body, and treat it right. Say nice things to yourself. Love yourself. <3
-Practice truly using all of your senses. We often rush through so many activities in a day, we may use them all, but we surely do not pay attention. Can you step into the grass barefoot? Close your eyes and really feel it, listen to every sound around you. Breathe in deep and really smell. Feel sand or dirt run through your fingers. One of my favorites is painting or drawing. Bonus if you use your fingers with either paint of charcoal! The holidays are full of scents, pay attention to them. This is a beautiful way to practice mindfulness, and you will be surprised how quickly your mind quiets.
This piece was a bit longer than planned, but I really wanted to hit on as many areas as I could for all of you. I hope you find that some of them really helpful. From the very bottom of my heart to the bottom of yours, I wish you peace, love, and wonderful memories this holiday season. And stay sane!
References:
(1) A course in Miracles
(2) 4-7-8 Breath, Retrieved from https://www.drweil.com/videos-features/videos/breathing-exercises-4-7-8-breath/
(3) https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/9237092
Like so many practices in life, I encourage you to become educated on the proper use of essential oils. When using them, please do so cautiously, understanding that there is often misinformation on the internet. You can be assured that I support only educated and proven resources. While essential oils should not be feared they should be respected and used properly to ensure the safety of the individuals using them.
Please note that I am not a medical practitioner. The content of this website is provided for general informational purposes only and is not intended as, nor should it be considered a substitute for, professional medical advice. Do not use the information on this website for diagnosing or treating any medical or health condition. If you have or suspect you have a medical problem, promptly contact your professional healthcare provider. By using this website, you assume full responsibility and liability for your own actions.
BEFORE YOU GO! Remember to sign up for my FREE Facebook group! Hang out with me and THOUSANDS of other Essential Oil lovers looking to learn, click on to join Real Essential Oil Education Group!
STRESS! Recognizing when your Nervous System is Dangerously Overactive
Coping skills, resilience, and stress levels in our youth
by Leslie Moldenauer | | Body, Essential Oils, Mind, Spirit
What does self-care look like for you? No matter which way you slice it, more often than not we as adults struggle with self-care. Ironically enough, many of us in the healing field commonly have issues in this area. I think the reason for this is we are constantly looking to help everyone else, and women, specifically mom’s, give a whole new meaning to “martyr”.….BUT you know what they say on an airplane about putting on your own mask first, right? It is time to fill our cups first!
We may have weeks where we do really well with showing ourselves the extra love and attention we deserve, and others where it seems we can sometimes be nicer to a stranger than we our to ourselves…exaggerating, of course…or am I? I fell into a non-existent self-care routine recently. There were many reasons for this, but were they actually excuses? (And maybe this sounds familiar to you) Banish those excuses!
Self-care can mean many things to many people, but my definition would definitely be doing things for me and only me, and nothing to do with technology. So watching a movie does not count in my rulebook, nor does spending quality time with my boys. Now, quality time is equally important to me but does not qualify as self-care…hence the “self”.
So, today I just want to give you three ideas, in case you are feeling a bit lost in this area. (More blogs to follow)
“You cannot always control what goes on outside. But you can always control what goes on inside”. –Wayne Dyer
Take a Breath on the Go
Sometimes, the car is the ideal place for me to bring myself back to center as I am somewhat held hostage away from all the should’s at home: laundry, cleaning, cooking, etc etc. Practicing mindful breathing can be done with your eyes open, very successfully at that.
Before you run out of the house, grab a cotton ball or cotton round and place 2 drops of the essential oil that brings you to a calmer place. Get in your car and push it inside your air vent. Here are a few ideas, but you very likely may already know exactly what you will use:
Bergamot Citrus bergamia
Lavender Lavandula angustifolia
Mandarin Red Citrus reticulata
Orange Sweet Citrus sinensis
Sandalwood Santalum spicatum
Vetiver Vetiveria zizanoides
This 4-7-8 breathing technique was created by Dr. Andrew Weil, M.D. (See his video here: https://www.drweil.com/videos-features/videos/breathing-exercises-4-7-8-breath/) (1)
The basis of this 4-7-8 breath is truly to create awareness of conscious breathing. It works wonders, and the car is a great place to practice it. If you embrace it, the 4-7-8 breath will become a habit in no time! For those of you saying, I breathe every second of every day…so not the same. Practice it and you will be sure to notice the difference immediately.
According to Dr. Maxwell Maltz, “It takes 21 days to form a new habit”, but other research states it takes a bit longer, on average two months (2). We can all do something for two months to make a fresh new habit that fosters wellness, right!?!
“Breath is the link between mind and body”. –Dan Brule
The Lovely Bath Time Routine
Do you love to take a bath as much as I do? First things first, even though my boys are now 9 and 11, the second I hit the bathroom is still the second that they need to tell me something, are looking for something, or need something. So I work to get them involved in something first, then I head to my sanctuary.
Essential oils are a treat for me. I do not use them every day, but bath time is a must! I typically add crème as a luxury item too. Heck if throwing in some rose petals makes you feel like the goddess that you are, then definitely do that!
Here is one of my favorites:
Vanilla Rose Goddess Bath Time Blend
Rose Absolute Rosa x Damascena 3 drops
Vanilla Vanilla Planifolia Oleoresin 2 drops
Epsom salt 1 cup
Unscented fragrance free shampoo 1 tbsp
Full fat crème ½-1 cup
Mix and add to bath after water has run.
I like to light candles, and have a glass of red wine. It is up to us to totally pamper ourselves, no one else. So go all out!
Transport Yourself to a Happy Place
Are you familiar with guided imagery? This is my go to when meditation fails me. I have been meditating for over 10 years, and sometimes I still fail….we all do. Dust yourself off and move on to something else that might work. Over the years my self-care routine evolves. What used to work like a charm may not so much anymore. So when I try to sit in meditation and the monkey mind does not stop knocking, guided imagery it is.
I typically do not recommend making purchases in my blogs, but this time I am making an exception because I feel it is THAT GOOD. I am not an affiliate or getting paid to make this recommendation, I just feel it is a tool that I use, my kids use, and many of my clients use….and I have yet to hear anyone say they do not LOVE it.
The website is called Meditainment. (see link below) There are 20 audio recordings in all, complete with a beautiful voice, sounds effects, and stories with a purpose. You will be able to transport yourself to a beach, an ocean, a garden, even the moon. Well worth the investment in your health.
This is typically a time that I diffuse essential oils. For example, if I listen to the recording marked “Island Paradise”, for rapid relaxation, I will diffuse what to me says beach, tropical, and relaxation. What that is for me, may be different for you, but here is a diffuser blend to try:
Diffuser Blend (Drops appropriate for a 400ml water reservoir)
Orange Sweet Citrus sinensis 5 drops
Sandalwood Santalum spicatum 3 drops
Vanilla Vanilla Planifolia Oleoresin OR CO2 1 drop
Jasmine Absolute Jasminum sambac 1 drop
Be sure to practice safe diffusion times.
Want to know more about what the health benefits of guided imagery are? Cleveland Clinic touches on it here. (3)
“Imagination will often carry us to worlds that never were. But without it, we go nowhere”. –Carl Sagan
With the high levels of stress that most of us are under, and the turmoil in the world, self-care is crucial. What are you doing for yourself today?
References
(1) Weil, A. Video: Breathing Exercises: 4-7-8 Breath Retrieved from https://www.drweil.com/videos-features/videos/breathing-exercises-4-7-8-breath/
(2) Clear, J. How Long Does it Actually Take to Form a New Habit? (Backed by Science) Retrieved from http://jamesclear.com/new-habit
(3) Guided Imagery Retrieved from https://my.clevelandclinic.org/departments/wellness/integrative/treatments-services/guided-imagery
Resources
https://www.meditainment.com/
Like so many practices in life, I encourage you to become educated on the proper use of essential oils. When using them, please do so cautiously, understanding that there is often misinformation on the internet. You can be assured that I support only educated and proven resources. While essential oils should not be feared they should be respected and used properly to ensure the safety of the individuals using them.
Please note that I am not a medical practitioner. The content of this website is provided for general informational purposes only and is not intended as, nor should it be considered a substitute for, professional medical advice. Do not use the information on this website for diagnosing or treating any medical or health condition. If you have or suspect you have a medical problem, promptly contact your professional healthcare provider. By using this website, you assume full responsibility and liability for your own actions.
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