Tips to stay sane this holiday season

Tips to stay sane this holiday season

 

The holidays are a time of family, friends, and good cheer. Being grateful, kind, and oftentimes giving more than receiving is what we moms and dads do. Spending time with family can bring about different emotions, anywhere from excitement to dread. It makes no difference which it is for you, they both come with their fair share of stress.

Moms tend to take on way too much and take it upon ourselves to make sure that everyone is happy. This begins well before Thanksgiving. We step away from our normal schedule and routine and prepare ourselves for a marathon of sorts. More often than not taking on more than one person ever should, dusting off our Superwoman capes. If you have children, especially small children, the holidays can be truly exhausting.

So, I got to thinking, how about I share some tips to help us stay sane? Keep everyone alive, you know that sort of thing. Wink. So without further adieu, here are my top 10 tips for staying sane during the holiday season without killing your kids! (Said in jest)

1. Acceptance of what is

I practice this daily. Sometimes I find myself fighting what is happening in my life, rather than simply accepting what is being put in front of me, in the moment. Think about that statement. Rather than inserting things like, “This is unfair”, “I wish things were different”, or “if only they___”, begin accepting things exactly as they are. Because let’s be honest, if you are saying those things to yourself, you causing yourself additional stress. Know that most everything is short-lived, a grain of sand on the beach. Know that everyone is doing his or her best. And most importantly, know that truly mastering this is one of the most empowering feelings that there is! It will help you to see clearly, and be able to love everything and everyone; for all that it is, for it is the reality. Life is not happening to you after all. Did part of your meal get messed up? Were family members late? Not grateful? Leave early? Kids fighting? Take a deep breath, all of these things make for the perfect day..accept what is.

Here are a couple possible affirmations to repeat to yourself through the day as needed:

*I accept that there are limitless possibilities for myself and others.
*I am learning to accept others as they are, we are all doing our best.

2.Hydration

Why would I put this as number two? Well, nearly all of us are somewhat dehydrated on a daily basis, many of us chronically so. Add to that the extra cocktails that happen around the holidays, and “typically” a lot of excess sugar consumption (excess sugar will further deplete hydration) and enter sluggishness, muscle aches and possible cramping, increased risk of illness, and an overall grumpy Gus. If you want to be at your best, make sure you stay hydrated, always. It will make a big difference. If you fear that you are already pretty dehydrated on a daily basis, plain water simply may not be enough for you to hydrate.

*Tip: Make this easy recipe at home for a tasty treat that will be sure to hydrate you in no time!

-Pour approximately 8 cups of water into a pitcher
-Warm up one cup of the 8 cups in the microwave or on the stovetop
-Add to the warm water 5 tbsp raw honey and ½ to ¾ tsp pink Himalayan sea salt. Mix well. Pour into the remaining 7 cups water and squeeze in the juice of one lemon, or ½ lemon and ½ lime.

Drink throughout the day.

3.Your kitchen is your sacred space, your oasis

During the holiday, make solid intentions surrounding your kitchen space. What do I mean by this? Do not allow yourself to be stressed in your sanctuary. This is your oasis. On my refrigerator I have a mantra written on a piece of paper that reads, “Smile and breathe…nourishing and caring for your body is a pleasure, never a chore”. Prepare nourishing food as much as you can around the holidays. Do not succumb to the expectations from others of a smorgasbord of sticky sugary treats. If you and only you choose to make a decadent treat, do that with intention. If it feels ok for you to do so, bless your food before you eat it. Always sit and savor your meal. Never eat while standing or on the run.

Remember the old saying, the kitchen is the heart of the home? Do not go it alone, that by itself is super stressful. I never enjoyed slaving away in the kitchen while I listened to everyone enjoying themselves in the other room, and I bet you don’t either. Let go of the reigns for your sanity. If someone enters your sacred space give him or her a job to do. Ask for help. Working together will give you more time to spend with your loved ones, or have more moments alone if that is what you need to thrive.

4.Tea time

Take time for an herbal tea when the night is quiet (or the early morning).

For me being a night owl, this ritual works best for me after my children are in bed, but if your sweet spot is early morning before anyone is awake..do that.

I sit with all the Christmas lights lit, if the cats are away I run a diffuser as well (remember cats and essential oils do not mix). I put in herbs that lessen stress and promote a good night sleep. Some great herbs to try are lavender, chamomile, passionflower, lemon balm or valerian root.

**Since I am not aware of your medical history or medications, please do your due diligence and make sure that these herbs are safe for your consumption.

No TV, no phone, no to-do lists running through my head, just silence. I sit and sip, I think about what I am grateful for, I call in all the good, and release what did not work for me that day back to the Universe. Something about the complete silence, the lights, and focusing on the good that not only helps me sleep soundly, but also helps me to awaken refreshed and ready to take on the next day.

If you are more of a morning person, a white tea may be ideal. Many love the taste of Matcha and it is superior to health. Try what works for you, just make sure you pair it with at least 10 minutes of blissful silence with thoughts of gratitude.

5.Be open to change

Listen to your gut. Be flexible. If you find yourself thinking “why am I even doing this”…maybe it is time to let it go! Just because historically everyone was up and ready to open gifts at 6 am, does not mean a change is not in order if you were up late on Christmas Eve (Unless you have children jumping on your bed of course). You usually spend Christmas running from house to house to house, and no one enjoys himself or herself? Arrange for one event the day after Christmas. Yes, some sacrifices may need to be made all around, but be open to change to reach the common goal, togetherness and memory making.

6.Forgive yourself….as you will have less than finer moments

Mom..mom..mom..mom..mom..mom..mom..Yes, there will be less than finer moments where you snap on your kids…why? Because you’re human! Kids are excited this time of year too! Everything is bigger, brighter, louder and as a result, your kids may act less than stellar! Keep this in mind when you feel what I like to call “ready to pop”. Change the perspective, put yourself in their shoes and take a moment to get down to their level. Here are a few great reasons to forgive yourself if you falter:

-Hey, last I checked no-one is perfect. I share a quote on my page and it fits pretty well here…Your kids do not need you to be perfect, they just need you! Trust me, they will forgive you quicker than you forgive you for losing your patience. Give them a hug, reach out for a tickle, cuddle, read a book together, help them to slow down the pace. It will help you both.

-Christmas is much like your wedding day. You spend so much time beforehand freaking out that something will go wrong…and it is likely that something will, and does…and NO ONE NOTICED! Take a deep breath. Even if something does not go as you had planned, it is likely no one will notice or care!

-You, above everyone, even your children, deserve your love, care, and forgiveness. We are our worst critics for sure. Give yourself even half the love and forgiveness that you give your kids on any given day and your GOLDEN!

A great book entitled “A Course in Miracles” by Helen Schucman (1) stated:

“You are spirit, pure, whole, and innocent. All is forgiven and released.”

Now, THIS is an amazing affirmation if I ever heard one. Memorize it and speak it often!

7.Aromatherapy

I could not make a list such as this without addressing aromatherapy. If you are having a larger gathering, diffusing is not a good idea, but there are a few others that will work just as well!

Utilize aromatherapy inhalers. Aromatherapy pendants or bracelets are another great option. You can apply a few drops of your favorite oil or oil blend and it will go a long way to keep you calm, focused, grounded, provide a pick-me-up, or whatever will work best for you in any situation. Be prepared!

Here are a few oil blends that I recommend (these are all kid safe):

Zero In (focus blend)

Vetiver Vetiveria zizanoides 2 drops
Lavender Lavandula angustifolia 8 drops
Lime Citrus aurantifolia 5 drops

Amount of drops is appropriate for an aromastick inhaler

Green Light Go (pick me up blend)
Spearmint Mentha spicata 5 drops
Lemon Citrus limon 5 drops
Lime Citrus aurantifolia 5 drops

Amount of drops is appropriate for an aromastick inhaler

Woesbegone (calming master blend)

Mandarin red Citrus reticulata 15 drops
Orange sweet Citrus sinensis 8 drops
Sandalwood Santalum spicatum (I prefer Western Australian Sandalwood for aroma and sustainability)
6 drops
Frankincense Boswellia carteri 4 drops
Vetiver Vetiveria zizanoides 2 drops

Mix and store in an amber or cobalt glass bottle in the fridge. Use in an inhaler, diffuser, or necklace/bracelet.

For more kid-friendly recipes like this >>>Aromatherapy for Kids, safe and sound

8.Drop the preconceived notions

We can attach preconceived notions to just about anything. I used to be very “specific” we shall say…cough cough…about how I wanted my Christmas tree decorated. This year, as a newly single mom..I handed over the job to my boys. They looked at me and said…”Mom, are you sure?”…I said “I am”, and I have not rearranged any of it. It is perfect just as it is. One simple and basic step to letting go of things being “just so” gave me a surprising sense of relief.

This can apply to endless things surrounding the holidays, the meals being just right, who helps clean up, how long you stay at guests homes, getting the perfect gift or having it in the perfect wrapping (one of my family members cringes when you rip wrapping paper, you need to carefully peel the tape, so it can be reused) =0 ….or yes, even how your children behave at Aunt Cathy’s house. Or how Aunt Cathy is viewing your children’s behavior from across the room.

Through the many times of stress and moments when you may want to scream like a crazy lady, try deep breathing instead. This 4-7-8 breathing technique was created by Dr. Andrew Weil, M.D. See his video here (2)

The basis of this 4-7-8 breath is truly to create a deep awareness of our breathing. It works wonders, and the great thing is no one will even know that you are doing it! If you embrace it, the 4-7-8 breath will become a habit in no time! For those of you saying, I breathe every second of every day…so not the same. Practice it and you will be sure to notice the difference immediately.

9.Take a mini vacation

Oh, the wonder of guided imagery. I have used it to get through some really tough times in my life. Guided imagery has been shown to reduce the stress hormone cortisol! (3) If you are not familiar with what guided imagery is, you lay in a comfortable position where you know you will not need to move for a good 20 minutes. Pillows, blankets, eye pillow, diffuser running, the whole kitchen sink. Ideally using good headphones, listen to a guided imagery audio file. You can find some decent ones on YouTube or any other music program such as Spotify or Pandora, etc. They will take you away to a beach, a forest floor or a garden grove for example. You will use all of your senses to be there fully, and your guide will help to paint the picture. Not all of us will enjoy the same person’s voice, but I do have my favorite which I will share with you.

Go to Meditainment.com. There are 7 minutes samples of a few different scenarios or locations if you will. You can pay a bundle price of around $30 for all of the audio clips. There are almost 2 dozen, and are all 20 minutes long. (I am NOT an affiliate) The ladies voice/accent is super soothing, and it is done very well. I have always been fully relaxed after completing a 20-minute session, and get up feeling refreshed and ready to start over. Go check it out!

10.The gift of time

Let time stand still. I have four examples on how you can do this, try one or all of them and see what works best for you.

-Holiday party (at night) is loud and you are feeling anxious, kids fully loaded on sugar running around, maybe some adults with too much to drink…..quietly step outside unnoticed. Move to a dark spot where no one can see you and just look up at the stars. Lift your arms to the universe if that feels comfortable for you. Bask in the glory of the world and that you are a part of it. Contemplate the vast sky. If you can see the moon, close your eyes momentarily and feel the connection, which is your womb (Yes, even if you do not have your uterus anymore, the energetics are still there). Bless the moon shining down upon you. Listen for the sounds around you. Be grateful to be alive and in your body, your container. Bonus if it is snowing down on you!

-Find your inner child. When the world is quiet (or if you have to search for that piece of silence) lean back and close your eyes. Picture yourself as a child, and he or she is standing in front of you, needing you. Let him or her sit on your lap. Caress their hair, cuddle with them, look into their eyes and tell them that they are good enough, tell them that everything is going to be ok. Whatever feels right here, do that and for whatever length of time you need. See your child self smile and feel secure and safe. Open your eyes. Now go and treat yourself this EXACT SAME WAY.

-You just got out of the shower and thankfully no kids are there to ask for something, and no cats or dogs are at the door using their paw to try and join you. Blissful silence. Place a towel over the toilet and sit with your favorite lotion or oil. Rather than rushing through this practice of moisturizing, be super mindful. Feel your hand on your skin, feel the hair on your arms, the temperature of your skin, knead and massage as you go. Love your body, and treat it right. Say nice things to yourself. Love yourself. <3

-Practice truly using all of your senses. We often rush through so many activities in a day, we may use them all, but we surely do not pay attention. Can you step into the grass barefoot? Close your eyes and really feel it, listen to every sound around you. Breathe in deep and really smell. Feel sand or dirt run through your fingers. One of my favorites is painting or drawing. Bonus if you use your fingers with either paint of charcoal! The holidays are full of scents, pay attention to them. This is a beautiful way to practice mindfulness, and you will be surprised how quickly your mind quiets.

This piece was a bit longer than planned, but I really wanted to hit on as many areas as I could for all of you. I hope you find that some of them really helpful. From the very bottom of my heart, to the bottom of yours, I wish you peace, love, and wonderful memories this holiday season. And stay sane!

Lifeholistically.com

References:

(1) A course in Miracles

(2) 4-7-8 Breath, Retrieved from https://www.drweil.com/videos-features/videos/breathing-exercises-4-7-8-breath/

(3) https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/9237092

Like so many practices in life, I encourage you to become educated on the proper use of essential oils. When using them, please do so cautiously, understanding that there is often misinformation on the internet. You can be assured that I support only educated and proven resources. While essential oils should not be feared they should be respected and used properly to ensure the safety of the individuals using them.

Please note that I am not a medical practitioner. The content of this website is provided for general informational purposes only and is not intended as, nor should it be considered a substitute for, professional medical advice. Do not use the information on this website for diagnosing or treating any medical or health condition. If you have or suspect you have a medical problem, promptly contact your professional healthcare provider. By using this website, you assume full responsibility and liability for your own actions.

What does self-care look like for you?

What does self-care look like for you?

No matter which way you slice it, more often than not we as adults struggle with self-care. Ironically enough, many of us in the healing field commonly have issues in this area. I think the reason for this is we are constantly looking to help everyone else, and women, specifically mom’s, give a whole new meaning to “martyr”.….BUT you know what they say on an airplane about putting on your own mask first, right? It is time to fill our cups first!

We may have weeks where we do really well with showing ourselves the extra love and attention we deserve, and others where it seems we can sometimes be nicer to a stranger than we our to ourselves…exaggerating, of course…or am I? I fell into a non-existent self-care routine recently. There were many reasons for this, but were they actually excuses? (And maybe this sounds familiar to you) Banish those excuses!

Self-care can mean many things to many people, but my definition would definitely be doing things for me and only me, and nothing to do with technology. So watching a movie does not count in my rulebook, nor does spending quality time with my boys. Now, quality time is equally important to me but does not qualify as self-care…hence the “self”.

So, today I just want to give you three ideas, in case you are feeling a bit lost in this area. (More blogs to follow)

 

“You cannot always control what goes on outside. But you can always control what goes on inside”. –Wayne Dyer

 

Take a Breath on the Go

Sometimes, the car is the ideal place for me to bring myself back to center as I am somewhat held hostage away from all the should’s at home: laundry, cleaning, cooking, etc etc. Practicing mindful breathing can be done with your eyes open, very successfully at that.

Before you run out of the house, grab a cotton ball or cotton round and place 2 drops of the essential oil that brings you to a calmer place. Get in your car and push it inside your air vent. Here are a few ideas, but you very likely may already know exactly what you will use:

Bergamot Citrus bergamia
Lavender Lavandula angustifolia
Mandarin Red Citrus reticulata
Orange Sweet Citrus sinensis
Sandalwood Santalum spicatum
Vetiver Vetiveria zizanoides

This 4-7-8 breathing technique was created by Dr. Andrew Weil, M.D. (See his video here: https://www.drweil.com/videos-features/videos/breathing-exercises-4-7-8-breath/) (1)

The basis of this 4-7-8 breath is truly to create awareness of conscious breathing. It works wonders, and the car is a great place to practice it. If you embrace it, the 4-7-8 breath will become a habit in no time! For those of you saying, I breathe every second of every day…so not the same. Practice it and you will be sure to notice the difference immediately.

According to Dr. Maxwell Maltz, “It takes 21 days to form a new habit”, but other research states it takes a bit longer, on average two months (2). We can all do something for two months to make a fresh new habit that fosters wellness, right!?!

 

“Breath is the link between mind and body”. –Dan Brule

 

The Lovely Bath Time Routine

Do you love to take a bath as much as I do? First things first, even though my boys are now 9 and 11, the second I hit the bathroom is still the second that they need to tell me something, are looking for something, or need something. So I work to get them involved in something first, then I head to my sanctuary.

Essential oils are a treat for me. I do not use them every day, but bath time is a must! I typically add crème as a luxury item too. Heck if throwing in some rose petals makes you feel like the goddess that you are, then definitely do that!

Here is one of my favorites:

 

Vanilla Rose Goddess Bath Time Blend

Rose Absolute Rosa x Damascena 3 drops
Vanilla Vanilla Planifolia Oleoresin 2 drops
Epsom salt 1 cup
Unscented fragrance free shampoo 1 tbsp
Full fat crème ½-1 cup

Mix and add to bath after water has run.

I like to light candles, and have a glass of red wine. It is up to us to totally pamper ourselves, no one else. So go all out!

 

Transport Yourself to a Happy Place

 Are you familiar with guided imagery? This is my go to when meditation fails me. I have been meditating for over 10 years, and sometimes I still fail….we all do. Dust yourself off and move on to something else that might work. Over the years my self-care routine evolves. What used to work like a charm may not so much anymore. So when I try to sit in meditation and the monkey mind does not stop knocking, guided imagery it is.

I typically do not recommend making purchases in my blogs, but this time I am making an exception because I feel it is THAT GOOD. I am not an affiliate or getting paid to make this recommendation, I just feel it is a tool that I use, my kids use, and many of my clients use….and I have yet to hear anyone say they do not LOVE it.

The website is called Meditainment. (see link below) There are 20 audio recordings in all, complete with a beautiful voice, sounds effects, and stories with a purpose. You will be able to transport yourself to a beach, an ocean, a garden, even the moon. Well worth the investment in your health.

This is typically a time that I diffuse essential oils. For example, if I listen to the recording marked “Island Paradise”, for rapid relaxation, I will diffuse what to me says beach, tropical, and relaxation. What that is for me, may be different for you, but here is a diffuser blend to try:

Diffuser Blend (Drops appropriate for a 400ml water reservoir)

Orange Sweet Citrus sinensis 5 drops
Sandalwood Santalum spicatum 3 drops
Vanilla Vanilla Planifolia Oleoresin OR CO2 1 drop
Jasmine Absolute Jasminum sambac 1 drop

Be sure to practice safe diffusion times.

Want to know more about what the health benefits of guided imagery are? Cleveland Clinic touches on it here. (3)

 

“Imagination will often carry us to worlds that never were. But without it, we go nowhere”. –Carl Sagan

With the high levels of stress that most of us are under, and the turmoil in the world, self-care is crucial. What are you doing for yourself today?

 

References

(1) Weil, A. Video: Breathing Exercises: 4-7-8 Breath Retrieved from https://www.drweil.com/videos-features/videos/breathing-exercises-4-7-8-breath/

(2) Clear, J. How Long Does it Actually Take to Form a New Habit? (Backed by Science) Retrieved from http://jamesclear.com/new-habit

(3) Guided Imagery Retrieved from https://my.clevelandclinic.org/departments/wellness/integrative/treatments-services/guided-imagery

Resources

https://www.meditainment.com/

Like so many practices in life, I encourage you to become educated on the proper use of essential oils. When using them, please do so cautiously, understanding that there is often misinformation on the internet. You can be assured that I support only educated and proven resources. While essential oils should not be feared they should be respected and used properly to ensure the safety of the individuals using them.

Please note that I am not a medical practitioner. The content of this website is provided for general informational purposes only and is not intended as, nor should it be considered a substitute for, professional medical advice. Do not use the information on this website for diagnosing or treating any medical or health condition. If you have or suspect you have a medical problem, promptly contact your professional healthcare provider. By using this website, you assume full responsibility and liability for your own actions.

What Is Your Why?

What Is Your Why?

What is your why? I was asked this question yesterday by a wise soul, and although it seemed like quite a simple question in the moment, I found it is a question I need to be asking and reminding myself of a lot more than I have been.

 

You see, the area in which I chose to begin my career, one of a healer, it is not as harmonious as you would expect. There is much disharmony and many that let their ego run the show, rather than quieting the mind and listening to the spirit-self, the essence of who you truly are; your dedication, your determination, your self-love, your strength, your truth. This can bring much discord, strife and “reactions” from the outside. So it is important to come back to self, and ask why? What is your ideal? What does it look like in your minds-eye? How do you want to feel? What makes you happy above all else? Then LIVE that…EMBODY it, and let NOTHING make you waver from that.

 

This can go for anything in life, your career, your relationships, the community at large, the world…..own your story, your truth.

 

I feverishly journaled my answers. My truths. What I thought I had known, and what I clearly never did. The only person we have to answer to in the end is ourselves…so I had a lot of questions, and hours worth of journaling of answers.

 

What did it all boil down to in a word? Helping. What is my truth? Empathic nurturer. What do I need to rid myself of? HA…well, a whole hell of a lot. My job right now is to decide what I will align with and move feverishly in that direction.

 

I want to help others. That can take on many forms and thankfully my education supports this. My continued education will fill the cracks, and my goal is to share it with everyone ready to hear it. Help others. In whatever capacity that I can, for however long I am here on this plane of existence.

 

 

It is not about prestige, it is not about notoriety, it is not about “likes”, it is not about money. I have begun to question all of my agreements, all of my scripts of what I have been led to believe. It requires a good, hard look at ourselves and what we thought to be true about the world and others around us. When the journaling slowed, I realized that I am meant to be here, doing exactly what I am doing. My path will unfold as it should…and I will help as many people as I can along the way.

 

For me, nothing feels better than a call from a mother saying “You helped my son sleep soundly for the first time in weeks”, or “My daughters anxiety was through the roof, I am so glad that I reached out to you for help”…..and “I am so happy that I found your information on essential oil safety, now I know I am doing things the right way, and that I am keeping my family safe”.

 

Remember those things when they happen to you. That is validation that you are on the right path. Think about how your heart feels as you lay down for rest every evening. Did you pull from your spirit-self that day? Did you live your why? Or did you let ego take hold? My goal is to snuff out ego as much as possible every day. This is crucial on my path. We all falter, we all make mistakes, but if we put focus on others by means of competition, comparing and judging, our ego is in control. This will not make our heart full, this will never lead to a blissful, happy, fulfilled space.

 

Am I an expert? (As I laugh) Definitely not. Do I and have I made mistakes? A resounding yes. If we are not making mistakes, or more importantly if we “think” we are not making mistakes….it is time for a true look at self. A reality check. We all make mistakes, but it is the ones that we choose to make over and over again, the ones that we do not learn from, which are harming us, which are preventing growth. If we judge others for their mistakes, we are not doing our best in this human experiment of life. Life is perfectly imperfect. We are all constantly learning, growing, and evolving.

 

 

So what is your why? Maybe it is time to sit with yourself and figure that out. Remember, this is not how you want to be perceived, the shoes you “think” you need to fill, or what you have to gain. It is all of our jobs to figure this out for ourselves and to continually check in to see that all of our actions, words, and expressions support it. Once you realize your blocks to the why, whether it is a self-limiting belief, a person, or an environment, once you make the discovery, the easier it is to release them/it back to where they belong.

 

It is time to accept and honor yourself, let go of expectations, and begin to walk your walk. One step at a time.

 

 

Stress….it affects the whole family!

Stress….it affects the whole family!

Is there anyone that is stress-free? Some say that a small amount of stress is healthy, as well as that there is “good stress” and “bad stress”. There is one thing I can agree with, that stress reduction is just as important as stress management…and this all starts with our attitude and a whole lot of self-care/self-love.

When we look at things logically and with a clear head, we can see that even our youngest are under stress. School, sports, strict schedules and always being on the move can stress out parent and child alike.

It took some effort to really step back and realize that both of my boys are stressed out. Not only are they both empathic as I am, they have issues in their lives that are very real for them. Once I began to sit down at the end of every day to talk with them about what their fears really are, was I able to hold space for them better than I ever had before. And as a result, they have the ability to do that very thing for their friends. It is a beautiful sight to behold in a 9 and 11 year old….making this momma proud!

Now let us look at how hard life can be sometimes for us adults. Adults have very real problems…and many of us do not hold space for others, forgetting that even in the worst of moments…that everyone has a story, everyone has wounds, and everyone struggles…just as you do.

Ego often takes precedence over spirit. Myself, included, sometimes when we are so buried in our own stuff we forget that others have real problems too, and maybe even more important, that others may be suffering.

So do we suffer in silence? Do we speak up? Do we ask for help? Asking for someone to hold space for us does not mean that we are looking for our problems to be solved, for anyone to truly “get involved” or anything of the sort.

You can hold space for someone by just being there. You can offer gentle, nonjudgmental support and guidance. By simply being there, you can make a big difference in someone’s life. By me telling my boys that I am there for them no matter what they are feeling or what they think they have “done”, it immediately reduces their stress. By showing them that their feelings are normal..and even expected, helps them to release the attachment they have to it. Separating yourself and becoming non-attached is THE single most healthy thing you can do for yourself at any given moment.

What Else Can We Do?

There are a few things that we have done that have improved things in our home in addition to truly being non-judgmental and holding space:

*We have stopped overscheduling. Sometimes in life, it is more important to “be” than to “do”. Let me tell you how painful this was for my kids at first. DO NOTHING? They thought mom had lost it. But now they actually ask for quiet time, and “most of the time” they are much more even keeled and forgiving of each other.

 

*I make them say things out loud, sometimes in front of the mirror like “I love me”, “I am good enough” and “it is ok to make mistakes”. This was as hard as you could possibly imagine..and sometimes they still struggle with it, but more often than not we giggle through any awkward moments and they do amazing…(and feel amazing afterword too).

*We as a family have had to make plenty of time to shut down our electronics. This is actually a “cause” of stress in so many ways. The more we can disconnect with our electronics, social media, and games and get back to real life relationships, nature, and self-care….the less stressed we are.

Other than helping nudge their own attitude and beliefs in the right direction, we utilize aromatherapy to get us through the tougher moments, as we as a family have been handed a rough share of things in the last couple of years, as many of my readers likely have as well.

My boys have diffusers in their rooms, a variety of aroma inhalers, and have their favorite oils. My oldest loves Sandalwood Santalum album, Red Mandarin Citrus reticulata, and Roman Chamomile Anthemis nobilis (on their own), but he is most affected by Lavender Lavandula angustifolia. My youngest says “just make me some magic mom”, but he is most affected by Sweet Orange Citrus sinesis.

 

 

I have had many a-ha moments with kids in particular, but we aromatherapists know that they have a most profound effect on all of our emotions…some would consider them magic…myself included.

 

What are you inhaling today?

 

 

 

Like so many practices in life I encourage you to become educated on the proper use of essential oils. When using them, please do so cautiously, understanding that there is often misinformation on the internet. You can be assured that I support only educated and proven resources. While essential oils should not be feared they should be respected and used properly to ensure the safety of the individuals using them.

Please note that I am not a medical practitioner. The content of this website is provided for general informational purposes only and is not intended as, nor should it be considered a substitute for, professional medical advice. Do not use the information on this website for diagnosing or treating any medical or health condition. If you have or suspect you have a medical problem, promptly contact your professional healthcare provider. By using this website, you assume full responsibility and liability for your own actions.

 

 

Who Is Our Competition In The Aromatherapy Community

Who Is Our Competition In The Aromatherapy Community

 

 

As I sit here, post conference from the 2017 Alliance of International Aromatherapists, I sit in a busy airport, quite calm and quiet despite all the goings on around me in contemplation of some of the things that I said on stage yesterday (Sunday) afternoon. One of them is competing with one another, or being at odds with one another, which I do not agree with. So many beautiful men and women showed me this weekend that they do not believe in it either, and it has shown me a whole new side to some of my colleagues. I want to share some of that with all of you, and maybe help you to see things a whole new way.

 

Looking at your colleagues as your competitors limits your success on your own business/path. This limits your happiness, and can make you question your self-worth. Seeing yourself, or your old self as your measure for growth, is a catalyst for change and an opportunity for motivation and growth.

 

 

Here are a few reasons why you should be your only competition.

 

  1. It will get you out of the pattern of comparing, judging, and feeling inferior to others.

 

When we are in this pattern of thinking, watching others excel, or even hearing someone speaking out with a view differing from yours can cause anxiety, frustration, and anger. Who wants to feel that? What truly matters at the end of the day is are you doing the best for you! Are you getting your voice heard? Are you confident in yourself? That is all that matters.

 

  1. It will keep you focused on your goals and what you want to achieve.

 

When you take your eyes off your goal because you are looking at what others are saying or doing, you lose sight of why you are doing it all in the first place! When I focus on my goals I am reaffirmed positively over and over again. The sheer number of people that reinforced that with me over the weekend was astonishing. They lifted me up, they gave me renewed purpose, and showed me that I am EXACTLY where I should be. And that feels pretty awesome.

 

  1. Your business will get the attention it deserves.

 

Your colleagues can be a great source of inspiration, but do not let it move to comparing to the point of no longer paying attention to what you are doing for you. Or lose sight of why you are doing it. Stay focused on what you want to accomplish in life, and strive to do better than the goals you have set for yourself.

 

 

To those of you that I met in person for the first time that took your time to chat with me and tell me how much I inspire you, to the ladies at the American College of Healthcare Sciences (ACHS) that showed their genuine care and support for my wellbeing, to all of my friends and mentors that took time from their experience to share their thoughts with me (ones that I really needed to hear), to the ones that performed reiki, massage, and even dropped me some Rescue Remedy, and especially to those that could not be present but sent me energy and held space for me throughout the weekend, I honor you all more than words can do justice. You have showed me that there is no competition among colleagues, among friends. We all come from the same place, we are all going to the same place. There is well and truly room for EACH AND EVERY one of us here.

 

 

Sending love to you all today and always, go be successful and inspire!

 

Be your own best competition.

 

 

 

From Breakdown to Breakthrough

From Breakdown to Breakthrough

Everyone has his or her own story. Some much more painful then others, and most are rarely shared. Do you ever look around you and wonder what others stories are? As an empath I can tell you that even without trying I can sense others pain, and know that their story is rich and weaving. It is a great conduit for me to know and understand that not much that others say and do has anything to do with me, and it helps to bring compassion into my heart for everyone. Knowing that my soul is not any different from anyone else, and my container means nothing in the scheme of it all, helps me to remain humble; from breakdown to breakthrough.

 

I am sure you have heard the quote “life is a journey”. Not only it is a journey but it is also about learning lessons from everyone we meet. It is about karma. Will we choose to listen and embrace the lessons or continue to make the same mistakes every day, or every lifetime for that matter? Whether you are amidst breakdown or breakthrough, know that good and bad are only temporary. We are light and we are darkness. Embracing that concept will help you to breakthrough whatever is currently in front of you.

 

Do I have all the answers? I assure you VERY far from it. I did recently have a major breakdown in my life, over a number of years in fact..and it took quite the effort to begin to see the light of breakthrough. So although I do not have all the answers, I can assure you coming pretty close to my own demise I have learned an awful lot about this life and myself.

 

What have I learned from it all that I want to share with you?

 

You are enough. In every day, in every moment, you are enough. You don’t have to be more, or do more, or buy more to be who you are meant to be. You are enough does not mean that you will never need help, or that you will never make any mistakes. But if someone makes you feel like you are not enough or tells you that you are not enough, in action or words……walk away.

 

Stop blaming external forces and change your own story. I got sick. Really sick. Having a doctor tell me that I was in a life and death situation was really eye opening, and scary. “Life crisis” was the words the doctor said that rang in my head for weeks. I finally realized that I was allowing myself to play the victim in my situation. My health crisis was not due to something I was eating or not eating, or the fact that I did not exercise enough. It did not happen overnight either. There were some very clear patterns in my life that I was repeating. I was not taking the reins to change my own story. I was giving up and saying “this is just how it is”. The moment I had a catalyst in my life to hold a mirror in front of my face and encourage me to see the truth, I stood back up. They gently showed me the way. I changed my story. I healed, pretty quickly in fact. After YEARS of being sick. Do you need to change your story? It is scary….but you can do it!

 

Focus on what you can control. I know this may sound cliché, but it is more true than any of us realize. Over the holidays I found myself in some very tumultuous times. I was alone. I was really angry at things that had “happened to me”. I was nearing breakthrough but did not see it yet. One night laying in bed after talking to a dear friend in Arizona I realized I was placing focus on things I could not have possibly controlled. I had taken responsibility for all of it, I saw it as things that “happened to me”, and I was miserable. The phrase “happened to me” very much made me a victim….and I am no victim. I played situations over and over in my head to see how I could have changed the outcomes. I had to stop. I decided to make my mantra “Take control of only what you are responsible for”. I said it hundreds of times, thousands. I wrote in a journal about the events of the last 6 years of my life that brought me to where I was. I realized I took responsibility for the behavior of others often. I was reactive instead of being proactive. Now to be fair to myself, life had really thrown me a curveball….or had it? Perhaps breakthrough requires breakdown. Evaluate what you are trying to take control of or responsibility for. If it does not belong to you…put it down!

 

Focus on the good. Whether you are a pessimist, optimist, or realist has everything to do with how you are going to feel, think, and act. And if you think you are doomed to be a pessimist all your life..I challenge you. You can change it. You have the choice. You will fall down, you will have to start over, many times…but you can change it. I focused on the bad during these hard times in my life. To tell the truth, I had actually resigned to the fact that I would not get better and never see my boys grow up, and well…never find that love for myself, or for someone else. But guess what? I did. I changed. I made the choice. So can you!

 

Stop shoulding all over yourself. Bet that made you smile! I know we have all done it. I should _______insert your thoughts here___________. Does this line of thinking empower you? This line of thinking more often than not has nothing at all to do with what we want for ourselves. Insert societal pressure, judgment from others, or comparison to others. TOXIC. Stop wanting to do more. That is not the answer. The answer is being true to you, no mater what anyone else thinks. A friend said to me in the last couple of months….”Let’s make to be lists instead of to do lists”. It was a brilliant idea and one that I have since adopted in my life. I no longer say I should eat healthier, I say I want to be healthy and happy…it is so much easier and brings much better results. So stop shoulding all over yourself. It is ok for it to be all about you as you are today, you deserve it. After all, you are always enough.

 

Steps towards growth..

 

The first step to some of these changes in pattern of thought or behavior is realizing you are doing it. Everyone’s perception of reality and life is different. They will not match your own or your expectations…..so stop expecting so much from others and take care of you first. Start replacing the “bad with the good”. Things are what they are….but what they are can always be changed.

 

One last thing…..

 

One last piece of advice, embrace others for exactly what they do bring to your life. Whether they provided a lesson to be learned, painful or otherwise, someone who always supports you fiercely no matter what, or someone who truly accepts you for exactly who you are with no judgment and loves you unconditionally…embrace them all!

 

 

 

Page 1 of 212

This site is protected by wp-copyrightpro.com