by Leslie Moldenauer | | Body, Mind, Spirit
December 21st is the day of the Solstice. The word solstice comes from the Latin sol (“sun”) and sistere (“to stand still” or “to make stand”). It is time to pause, to stand still.
When you look at your life as a whole, your day after day, your routine…..how much time do you allow for standing still? This may sound like an odd question, but outside of the hours of slumber, how much time in your day do you spend doing things that you really love that involve being “somewhat” still. A cup of tea, a good book, a bath, drawing, painting, or whatever you’re passionate about? (Not talking about a good run here, or sitting on the couch watching TV)
Overall, our bodies are meant for movement just as much as they are meant for stillness. I acknowledge that in order to maintain health our bodies must move, daily. It is however equally important to embrace the stillness. It is all about balance.
I know a whole host of people who never take their vacation time from work because they are too busy or think they do not have time to rest? Say that again? If you are one of these individuals, I mean no offense when I say this is crazy talk! Much like the seasons, we are all meant for the same cycles. We have way too much movement, too much chaos, and too much busyness to our lives. To do lists as far as the eye can see, beating ourselves up at the end of the day for not getting enough done….and oftentimes the moments that we do take for rest we have feelings of guilt and regret. Days of being so “busy”, but not doing anything particularly well…..having a spot on clean house, chores done, but you are completely and utterly exhausted! How is that working for you?
It is time for a change!
This new year, drop the New Year’s resolutions. I have never been a fan. Why do I say this? A number of reasons actually. I make changes every.single.day. Every single day is a day to start over. A new beginning. A day to do better than yesterday. Setting one day a year to start everything anew and then beating yourself up when you falter? This is a waste of time and sets you up for unneeded negativity and guilt!
Do I do anything in the new year? So many things! A vision board is where I begin. I create what I want to do, how I want to feel as if I already have an abundance of it in my life. I grab a big piece of poster board, markers, cut-outs of magazines, and my artist ability (we all have some) and I go nuts. Never stop dreaming. Puts those dreams on your board. This has nothing to do with exercise, your diet, your “shoulds”, NONE OF THAT. No shoulding on yourself! I am talking your vision of who you want to be…who you are….DREAM BIG! Think Law of Attraction here.
What else do I do? I journal daily, perform self-care rituals every day, write a gratitude list before bed every evening, and have begun to embrace some new things in my life due to a few very special people who are holding the mirror in front of my face, helping me to really, truly, for the first time in a long time…..stand in my power. We are all much more powerful than we realize…and when you realize it to be true for you….watch out world!
Stay tuned as I begin to share many new things with all of you.
Our bodies were meant for rest. Go inside, embody the time of the solstice. Understand that winter is an important period to go internally, a time to rest, a time to prepare for rebirth. What will you reemerge as in 2018?
by Leslie Moldenauer | | Body, Essential Oils, Mind, Spirit
What does self-care look like for you? No matter which way you slice it, more often than not we as adults struggle with self-care. Ironically enough, many of us in the healing field commonly have issues in this area. I think the reason for this is we are constantly looking to help everyone else, and women, specifically mom’s, give a whole new meaning to “martyr”.….BUT you know what they say on an airplane about putting on your own mask first, right? It is time to fill our cups first!
We may have weeks where we do really well with showing ourselves the extra love and attention we deserve, and others where it seems we can sometimes be nicer to a stranger than we our to ourselves…exaggerating, of course…or am I? I fell into a non-existent self-care routine recently. There were many reasons for this, but were they actually excuses? (And maybe this sounds familiar to you) Banish those excuses!
Self-care can mean many things to many people, but my definition would definitely be doing things for me and only me, and nothing to do with technology. So watching a movie does not count in my rulebook, nor does spending quality time with my boys. Now, quality time is equally important to me but does not qualify as self-care…hence the “self”.
So, today I just want to give you three ideas, in case you are feeling a bit lost in this area. (More blogs to follow)
“You cannot always control what goes on outside. But you can always control what goes on inside”. –Wayne Dyer
Take a Breath on the Go
Sometimes, the car is the ideal place for me to bring myself back to center as I am somewhat held hostage away from all the should’s at home: laundry, cleaning, cooking, etc etc. Practicing mindful breathing can be done with your eyes open, very successfully at that.
Before you run out of the house, grab a cotton ball or cotton round and place 2 drops of the essential oil that brings you to a calmer place. Get in your car and push it inside your air vent. Here are a few ideas, but you very likely may already know exactly what you will use:
Bergamot Citrus bergamia
Lavender Lavandula angustifolia
Mandarin Red Citrus reticulata
Orange Sweet Citrus sinensis
Sandalwood Santalum spicatum
Vetiver Vetiveria zizanoides
This 4-7-8 breathing technique was created by Dr. Andrew Weil, M.D. (See his video here: https://www.drweil.com/videos-features/videos/breathing-exercises-4-7-8-breath/) (1)
The basis of this 4-7-8 breath is truly to create awareness of conscious breathing. It works wonders, and the car is a great place to practice it. If you embrace it, the 4-7-8 breath will become a habit in no time! For those of you saying, I breathe every second of every day…so not the same. Practice it and you will be sure to notice the difference immediately.
According to Dr. Maxwell Maltz, “It takes 21 days to form a new habit”, but other research states it takes a bit longer, on average two months (2). We can all do something for two months to make a fresh new habit that fosters wellness, right!?!
“Breath is the link between mind and body”. –Dan Brule
The Lovely Bath Time Routine
Do you love to take a bath as much as I do? First things first, even though my boys are now 9 and 11, the second I hit the bathroom is still the second that they need to tell me something, are looking for something, or need something. So I work to get them involved in something first, then I head to my sanctuary.
Essential oils are a treat for me. I do not use them every day, but bath time is a must! I typically add crème as a luxury item too. Heck if throwing in some rose petals makes you feel like the goddess that you are, then definitely do that!
Here is one of my favorites:
Vanilla Rose Goddess Bath Time Blend
Rose Absolute Rosa x Damascena 3 drops
Vanilla Vanilla Planifolia Oleoresin 2 drops
Epsom salt 1 cup
Unscented fragrance free shampoo 1 tbsp
Full fat crème ½-1 cup
Mix and add to bath after water has run.
I like to light candles, and have a glass of red wine. It is up to us to totally pamper ourselves, no one else. So go all out!
Transport Yourself to a Happy Place
Are you familiar with guided imagery? This is my go to when meditation fails me. I have been meditating for over 10 years, and sometimes I still fail….we all do. Dust yourself off and move on to something else that might work. Over the years my self-care routine evolves. What used to work like a charm may not so much anymore. So when I try to sit in meditation and the monkey mind does not stop knocking, guided imagery it is.
I typically do not recommend making purchases in my blogs, but this time I am making an exception because I feel it is THAT GOOD. I am not an affiliate or getting paid to make this recommendation, I just feel it is a tool that I use, my kids use, and many of my clients use….and I have yet to hear anyone say they do not LOVE it.
The website is called Meditainment. (see link below) There are 20 audio recordings in all, complete with a beautiful voice, sounds effects, and stories with a purpose. You will be able to transport yourself to a beach, an ocean, a garden, even the moon. Well worth the investment in your health.
This is typically a time that I diffuse essential oils. For example, if I listen to the recording marked “Island Paradise”, for rapid relaxation, I will diffuse what to me says beach, tropical, and relaxation. What that is for me, may be different for you, but here is a diffuser blend to try:
Diffuser Blend (Drops appropriate for a 400ml water reservoir)
Orange Sweet Citrus sinensis 5 drops
Sandalwood Santalum spicatum 3 drops
Vanilla Vanilla Planifolia Oleoresin OR CO2 1 drop
Jasmine Absolute Jasminum sambac 1 drop
Be sure to practice safe diffusion times.
Want to know more about what the health benefits of guided imagery are? Cleveland Clinic touches on it here. (3)
“Imagination will often carry us to worlds that never were. But without it, we go nowhere”. –Carl Sagan
With the high levels of stress that most of us are under, and the turmoil in the world, self-care is crucial. What are you doing for yourself today?
References
(1) Weil, A. Video: Breathing Exercises: 4-7-8 Breath Retrieved from https://www.drweil.com/videos-features/videos/breathing-exercises-4-7-8-breath/
(2) Clear, J. How Long Does it Actually Take to Form a New Habit? (Backed by Science) Retrieved from http://jamesclear.com/new-habit
(3) Guided Imagery Retrieved from https://my.clevelandclinic.org/departments/wellness/integrative/treatments-services/guided-imagery
Resources
https://www.meditainment.com/
Like so many practices in life, I encourage you to become educated on the proper use of essential oils. When using them, please do so cautiously, understanding that there is often misinformation on the internet. You can be assured that I support only educated and proven resources. While essential oils should not be feared they should be respected and used properly to ensure the safety of the individuals using them.
Please note that I am not a medical practitioner. The content of this website is provided for general informational purposes only and is not intended as, nor should it be considered a substitute for, professional medical advice. Do not use the information on this website for diagnosing or treating any medical or health condition. If you have or suspect you have a medical problem, promptly contact your professional healthcare provider. By using this website, you assume full responsibility and liability for your own actions.
by Leslie Moldenauer | | Essential Oils, Mind, Spirit
What Is Your Why? What fuels your passion for what you do? I was asked this question yesterday by a wise soul, and although it seemed like quite a simple question in the moment, I found it is a question I need to be asking and reminding myself of a lot more than I have been.
You see, the area in which I chose to begin my career, one of a healer, it is not as harmonious as you would expect. There is much disharmony and many that let their ego run the show, rather than quieting the mind and listening to the spirit-self, the essence of who you truly are; your dedication, your determination, your self-love, your strength, your truth. This can bring much discord, strife and “reactions” from the outside. So it is important to come back to self, and ask why? What is your ideal? What does it look like in your minds-eye? How do you want to feel? What makes you happy above all else? Then LIVE that…EMBODY it, and let NOTHING make you waver from that.
This can go for anything in life, your career, your relationships, the community at large, the world…..own your story, your truth.
I feverishly journaled my answers. My truths. What I thought I had known, and what I clearly never did. The only person we have to answer to in the end is ourselves…so I had a lot of questions, and hours worth of journaling of answers.
What did it all boil down to in a word? Helping. What is my truth? Empathic nurturer. What do I need to rid myself of? HA…well, a whole hell of a lot. My job right now is to decide what I will align with and move feverishly in that direction.
I want to help others. That can take on many forms and thankfully my education supports this. My continued education will fill the cracks, and my goal is to share it with everyone ready to hear it. Help others. In whatever capacity that I can, for however long I am here on this plane of existence.
It is not about prestige, it is not about notoriety, it is not about “likes”, it is not about money. I have begun to question all of my agreements, all of my scripts of what I have been led to believe. It requires a good, hard look at ourselves and what we thought to be true about the world and others around us. When the journaling slowed, I realized that I am meant to be here, doing exactly what I am doing. My path will unfold as it should…and I will help as many people as I can along the way.
For me, nothing feels better than a call from a mother saying “You helped my son sleep soundly for the first time in weeks”, or “My daughters anxiety was through the roof, I am so glad that I reached out to you for help”…..and “I am so happy that I found your information on essential oil safety, now I know I am doing things the right way, and that I am keeping my family safe”.
Remember those things when they happen to you. That is validation that you are on the right path. Think about how your heart feels as you lay down for rest every evening. Did you pull from your spirit-self that day? Did you live your why? Or did you let ego take hold? My goal is to snuff out ego as much as possible every day. This is crucial on my path. We all falter, we all make mistakes, but if we put focus on others by means of competition, comparing and judging, our ego is in control. This will not make our heart full, this will never lead to a blissful, happy, fulfilled space.
Am I an expert? (As I laugh) Definitely not. Do I and have I made mistakes? A resounding yes. If we are not making mistakes, or more importantly if we “think” we are not making mistakes….it is time for a true look at self. A reality check. We all make mistakes, but it is the ones that we choose to make over and over again, the ones that we do not learn from, which are harming us, which are preventing growth. If we judge others for their mistakes, we are not doing our best in this human experiment of life. Life is perfectly imperfect. We are all constantly learning, growing, and evolving.
So what is your why? Maybe it is time to sit with yourself and figure that out. Remember, this is not how you want to be perceived, the shoes you “think” you need to fill, or what you have to gain. It is all of our jobs to figure this out for ourselves and to continually check in to see that all of our actions, words, and expressions support it. Once you realize your blocks to the why, whether it is a self-limiting belief, a person, or an environment, once you make the discovery, the easier it is to release them/it back to where they belong.
It is time to accept and honor yourself, let go of expectations, and begin to walk your walk. One step at a time.
by Leslie Moldenauer | | Essential Oils, Spirit
Is there anyone that is stress-free? Some say that a small amount of stress is healthy, as well as that there is “good stress” and “bad stress”. There is one thing I can agree with, that stress reduction is just as important as stress management…and this all starts with our attitude and a whole lot of self-care/self-love.
When we look at things logically and with a clear head, we can see that even our youngest are under stress. School, sports, strict schedules and always being on the move can stress out parent and child alike.
It took some effort to really step back and realize that both of my boys are stressed out. Not only are they both empathic as I am, they have issues in their lives that are very real for them. Once I began to sit down at the end of every day to talk with them about what their fears really are, was I able to hold space for them better than I ever had before. And as a result, they have the ability to do that very thing for their friends. It is a beautiful sight to behold in a 10 and 12-year-old….making this momma proud!
Now let us look at how hard life can be sometimes for us adults. Adults have very real problems…and many of us do not hold space for others, forgetting that even in the worst of moments…that everyone has a story, everyone has wounds, and everyone struggles…just as you do.
Ego often takes precedence over spirit. Myself, included, sometimes when we are so buried in our own stuff we forget that others have real problems too, and maybe even more important, that others may be suffering.
So do we suffer in silence? Do we speak up? Do we ask for help? Asking for someone to hold space for us does not mean that we are looking for our problems to be solved, for anyone to truly “get involved” or anything of the sort.
You can hold space for someone by just being there. You can offer gentle, nonjudgmental support and guidance. By simply being there, you can make a big difference in someone’s life. By me telling my boys that I am there for them no matter what they are feeling or what they think they have “done”, it immediately reduces their stress. By showing them that their feelings are normal..and even expected, helps them to release the attachment they have to it. Separating yourself and becoming non-attached is THE single most healthy thing you can do for yourself at any given moment.
What Else Can We Do?
There are a few things that we have done that have improved things in our home in addition to truly being non-judgmental and holding space:
*We have stopped overscheduling. Sometimes in life, it is more important to “be” than to “do”. Let me tell you how painful this was for my kids at first. DO NOTHING? They thought mom had lost it. But now they actually ask for quiet time, and “most of the time” they are much more even kind and forgiving of each other.
*I make them say things out loud, sometimes in front of the mirror like “I love me”, “I am good enough” and “it is ok to make mistakes”. This was as hard as you could possibly imagine at first..and sometimes they still struggle with it, but more often than not we giggle through any awkward moments and they do amazing…(and feel amazing afterword too).
*We as a family have had to make plenty of time to shut down our electronics. This is actually a “cause” of stress in so many ways. The more we can disconnect with our electronics, social media, and games and get back to real life relationships, nature, and self-care….the less stressed we are.
Other than helping nudge their own attitude and beliefs in the right direction, we utilize aromatherapy to get us through the tougher moments, as we as a family have been handed a rough share of things in the last couple of years, as many of my readers likely have as well.
My boys have diffusers in their rooms, a variety of aroma inhalers, and have their favorite oils. My oldest loves Sweet orange (Citrus sinensis) and Sandalwood (Santalum album), but he is most affected by Lavender (Lavandula angustifolia). My youngest says “just make me some magic mom”, but he is most affected by Sweet Orange (Citrus sinensis).
I have had many a-ha moments with kids in particular, but we aromatherapists know that they have a most profound effect on all of our emotions…some would consider them magic…myself included.
What are you inhaling today?
Like so many practices in life I encourage you to become educated on the proper use of essential oils. When using them, please do so cautiously, understanding that there is often misinformation on the internet. You can be assured that I support only educated and proven resources. While essential oils should not be feared they should be respected and used properly to ensure the safety of the individuals using them.
Please note that I am not a medical practitioner. The content of this website is provided for general informational purposes only and is not intended as, nor should it be considered a substitute for, professional medical advice. Do not use the information on this website for diagnosing or treating any medical or health condition. If you have or suspect you have a medical problem, promptly contact your professional healthcare provider. By using this website, you assume full responsibility and liability for your own actions.
by Leslie Moldenauer | | Essential Oils, Spirit
Much has changed, yet everything remains the same in the aromatherapy community. Despite what I see and hear, I remain true to me, and more importantly to all of you….as helping others is my life calling. I spend plenty of time in self-reflection to be able to remain solidly on my path.
Looking at your colleagues as your competitors limits your success on your own business/path. This limits your happiness and can make you question…well…everything I imagine. Seeing yourself, or your old self as your measure for growth, is the true catalyst for change and an opportunity for motivation and growth.
Here are a few reasons why you should be your only competition.
- It will get you out of the pattern of comparing, judging, and feeling inferior to others.
If you are repeating a pattern of thinking, watching others excel, or even hearing someone speaking out with a view differing from yours, it can cause anxiety, frustration, and anger. Who wants to feel that? What truly matters at the end of the day is are you doing the best for you! Are you getting your voice heard? Are you confident in yourself? Are you helping others? That is all that matters.
- It will keep you focused on your goals and what you want to achieve.
When you take your eyes off your goal because you are looking at what others are saying or doing, you lose sight of why you are doing it all in the first place! When I focus on my goals I am reaffirmed positively over and over again. The people I help on a daily basis are all the affirmation I need. Not due to their feedback necessarily, but how it makes me feel. They lift me up, they give me renewed purpose and show me that I am EXACTLY where I should be. And that feels pretty awesome.
- Your business will get the attention it deserves.
Your colleagues can be a great source of inspiration, but do not let it move to comparing to the point of no longer paying attention to what you are doing for you. Or lose sight of why you are doing it. Stay focused on what you want to accomplish in life, and strive to do better than the goals you have set for yourself.
I have on occasion witnessed aromatherapists being called out for scaremongering and making it sound like essential oils are incredibly dangerous. I despise the term scare-mongering, but I do see such turmoil amongst professionals and mlm reps alike, that I am forced to question where we have lost our way. We ALL know that essential oils are amazing and that they work. And we ALL know that many share how to use them in an unsafe manner…..BUT, is it our responsibility to be the hero or the shero of every situation we see? It is our responsibility to speak out our truth to those who are ready and willing to listen. This is how real change begins to happen. This is where we find respect for one another again. This is where we realize we can disagree, and still be kind to one another.
To those of you that I have had the pleasure to meet in person, to those that reach out to me on scheduled phone calls, private messages, via email, or in my group… to all of my friends that take time from their life experience to share their thoughts with me, I honor you. You have shown me that there needs to be no competition among colleagues, among friends. We all come from a place of humble service. There is well and truly room for EACH AND EVERY one of us here.
Sending love to you all today and always, go be successful and inspire!
Be your own best competition. Sending love and blessings.
by Leslie Moldenauer | | Mind, Spirit
Everyone has his or her own story. Some much more painful than others, and most are rarely shared.
Do you ever look around you and wonder what others stories are? As an empath, I can tell you that even without trying I can sense others pain, and know that their story is rich and weaving. It is a great conduit for me to know and understand that not much that others say and do has anything to do with me, and it helps to bring compassion into my heart for everyone.
Knowing that my soul is not any different from anyone else, and my container means nothing in the scheme of it all, helps me to remain humble; here is a piece of my story, from breakdown to breakthrough.
I am sure you have heard the quote “life is a journey”. Not only it is a journey but it is also about learning lessons from everyone we meet. It is about karma. Will we choose to listen and embrace the lessons or continue to make the same mistakes every day, or every lifetime for that matter? Whether you are amidst breakdown or breakthrough, know that good and bad are only temporary. We are light and we are darkness. Embracing that concept will help you to breakthrough whatever is currently in front of you.
Do I have all the answers? I assure you VERY far from it. I did recently have a major breakdown in my life, over a number of years in fact..and it took quite the effort to begin to see the light of breakthrough. So although I do not have all the answers, I can assure you coming pretty close to my own demise I have learned an awful lot about this life and myself.
What have I learned from it all that I want to share with you?
You are enough. In every day, in every moment, you are enough. You don’t have to be more, or do more, or buy more to be who you are meant to be. You are enough does not mean that you will never need help, or that you will never make any mistakes. But if someone makes you feel like you are not enough or tells you that you are not enough, in action or words……walk away.
Everyone has wounds, if someone is attempting to make you play small, chances are it is much more about them then it is about you. Hurting people hurt people.
Stop blaming external forces and change your own story. I got sick. Really sick. Having a doctor tell me that I was in a life and death situation was really eye-opening, and scary. “Life crisis” was the words the doctor said that rang in my head for weeks. I finally realized that I was allowing myself to play the victim in my situation. My health crisis was not due to something I was eating or not eating, or the fact that I did not exercise enough. It did not happen overnight either. There were some very clear patterns in my life that I was repeating. I was not taking the reins to change my own story. I was giving up and saying “this is just how it is”. I changed my story. I stopped letting fear take the reins. I jumped. I spoke my truth. I said I was not happy. I walked away from a 20-year relationship. I healed, pretty quickly in fact. After YEARS of being sick. Do you need to change your story? It is scary….but you can do it!
Focus on what you can control. I know this may sound cliché, but it is truer than any of us realize. Over the holidays I found myself in some very tumultuous times. I was alone. I was really angry at things that had “happened to me”. I was nearing breakthrough but did not see it yet. One night laying in bed I realized I was placing focus on things I could not have possibly controlled. I had taken responsibility for all of it, I saw it as things that “happened to me”, and I was miserable. The phrase “happened to me” very much made me a victim….and I am no victim.
I played situations over and over in my head to see how I could have changed the outcomes. I had to stop. I decided to make my mantra “Take control of only what you are responsible for”. I said it hundreds of times, thousands. I wrote in a journal about the events of the last 6 years of my life that brought me to where I was. I realized I took responsibility for the behavior of others often. I was reactive instead of being proactive. Now to be fair to myself, life had really thrown me a curveball….or had it? People in my life were mirroring my past, and it was up to me to break the pattern. I am so incredibly thankful they are no longer a part of my life, I wish them well on their own path of healing.
Perhaps breakthrough requires breakdown. Evaluate what you are trying to take control of or responsibility for. If it does not belong to you…put it down!
Focus on the good. Whether you are a pessimist, optimist, or realist has everything to do with how you are going to feel, think, and act. And if you think you are doomed to be a pessimist all your life..I challenge you. You can change it. You have the choice. You will fall down, you will have to start over, many times…but you can change it.
I focused on the bad during these hard times in my life. To tell the truth, I had actually resigned to the fact that I would not get better and never see my boys grow up, and well…never find that love for myself, or for someone else. But guess what? I did. I changed. It took hard work. I hired coaches. I stopped staying quiet and playing small and told my story. I gave it life which allowed me to move through it and leave it where it belongs. Behind me. I made the choice. So can you!
Stay tuned as I have so much more of my story to share!
Stop shoulding all over yourself. Bet that made you smile! I know we have all done it. I should _______insert your thoughts here___________. Does this line of thinking empower you? This line of thinking more often than not has nothing at all to do with what we want for ourselves. Insert societal pressure, judgment from others, or comparison to others. TOXIC. Stop wanting to do more. That is not the answer. The answer is being true to you, no matter what anyone else thinks.
A friend from another lifetime once said to me….”Let’s make to be lists instead of to do lists”. It was a brilliant idea and one that I have since adopted in my life. I no longer say I should eat healthier, I say I want to be healthy and happy…it is so much easier and brings much better results. So stop shoulding all over yourself. It is ok for it to be all about you as you are today, you deserve it.
After all, you are always enough.
Steps toward growth..
The first step to some of these changes in the pattern of thought or behavior is realizing you are doing it. Everyone’s perception of reality and life is different. They will not match your own or your expectations…..so stop expecting so much from others and take care of you first. Start replacing the “bad with the good”. Things are what they are….but what they are can always be changed.
One last thing…..
One last piece of advice, embrace others for exactly what they do bring to your life. Whether they provided a lesson to be learned, painful or otherwise. There will always be painful lessons in life, people that are not ready to look in the mirror, people who are playing small and not ready to stand in your light….do not let that stop you from shining.
Ultimately, showing others how you shine will bring more light to the world….and the world needs more of that! Shine on, my friends.
