Would you be surprised if I told you that the most common issue among young mothers is burnout? What I mean by burnout is adrenal fatigue and likely low thyroid function as these typically go together. Are you taking time to truly rest? You heard my story, and I have heard the stories of countless other moms who are living it now, hardcore, bone-aching fatigue. Speaking from experience, more experience than I ever thought I would have, here are some of the symptoms of adrenal fatigue. Do they sound familiar?
Exhaustion, not just your average “tired”
Craving salty foods
Fuzzy thinking/difficulty concentrating
Recurrent colds
Waking tired, even though you got plenty of sleep
Feeling revved up and most energetic later in the evening
Difficulty recovering from exercise (Cardio leaves you completely spent)
Possible sleep disturbances
Strong PMS symptoms
Low blood pressure
Heart palpitations
Increasing food sensitivities
If this list sounds like you, don’t panic. Your gut instinct is powerful and was likely telling you that something in your life and your health was off, simply because, like I mentioned above, this tired goes well beyond just being ready for bed.
If you are an avid exerciser it is going to be really important for you to slow down. Reconnection to self and lots of self-love is what is in order. Movement is important though; the type of movement that needs a shift for a bit. Yoga, tai chi, qi gong, and daily walking are on the docket. Weights are even ok. The key is not to get your heart rate too high for too long. You have gotten to this point because of a certain level of disconnect to self, and to start to pull yourself back and find homeostasis, you need to reconnect once again.
Sleep is critical here. I know you feel amazing late at night, but you have to try to shift your sleep pattern to get into bed earlier. At first, the shift can be slow, and you start to get into bed 15 minutes earlier, then 30 minutes earlier, etc. I know that is hard as your sweet spot is after the children are in bed and you finally have the house to yourself. Even now that I have recovered from adrenal exhaustion there are nights that I still falter and burn the midnight oil, but it is really doing more harm than good. Please try and get your goddess self in bed by 10:30 p.m. at the latest!
Having trouble meeting Mr. Sandman? Herbs and aromatherapy can be very helpful for you.
Time for Tea
Just like with your own children a nighttime ritual before bed is often very helpful to settle. If you are running around the home picking things up, making lunches, folding laundry, paying bills and the million other things we moms do, it is going to be hard to shut the switch off right when you lay down and go to sleep. Try teatime. Turn off all electronics at least 30 minutes before lying down. You could sit in silence, read a small passage of a feel-good book, or journal a gratitude list for the day. To-do lists are not welcome here.
Here are some herbs I recommend trying:
Passionflower (Passiflora incarnate) is an absolutely gorgeous flower, and in the dried herbal form, it is beneficial to calming the mind. As a matter of fact, “Scientists believe passionflower works by increasing levels of a chemical called gamma-aminobutyric acid (GABA) in the brain. GABA lowers the activity of some brain cells, making you feel more relaxed” [1].
Passionflower is also a beautiful herb for anxiety, but there are a few contraindications to be aware of. This herb is not for anyone who is currently pregnant or breastfeeding. If you are already taking sedating medications, avoid passionflower in your cup, or you could greatly intensify the effects of your medication. Be safe momma.
Lemon balm (Melissa officinalis) in your tea is a must! Touted for relaxation of body and mind. Fun fact! In Germany, lemon balm is licensed as a standard medicinal tea for sleep disorders [2].
The essential oil, typically sold as Melissa, is amazing too, but rather costly. Many do not know that it takes quite a lot of plant material to fill that bottle, so I recommend using the herb to help calm before bed rather than the costly oil. Think sustainably!
Roman Chamomile (Chamaemelum nobile) is another favorite for calming the body, mind…and bonus, the belly! Use caution if you have an existing ragweed allergy or hay fever, chamomile may affect you as well.
Some recommend valerian (Valeriana wallichii) essential oil …but I think the herb tastes awful, and the essential oil smells even worse.
Use catnip (Nepeta cataria) instead!
Catnip is rich in nepetalactone, which has mild but effective sedative qualities, and acts much like valerian! [3]
If you mix equal parts of a couple, a few, or all of these herbs and enjoy teatime before bed, you might find yourself much more inclined to sleep peacefully.
Aromatherapy
Are you a bath person? A luxurious soak without the demands of your kids may be just what you need. Here is one of my favorite blends:
Bliss Bath
Rose Absolute (Rosa x damascene) 6 drops
Lavender (Lavandula angustifolia) 4 drops
Epsom salt 1 cup
Unscented fragrance-free shampoo 1 Tbsp
Full fat crème ½ cup (optional)
Mix and add to bath after the water has run. Light a candle, grab a glass of wine and relax.
Diffuser Blend
Turn the timer on your diffuser before you slip under the covers with your favorite nighttime blend. Here is one of mine:
Lavender (Lavandula angustifolia) 4 drops
Marjoram (Origanum majorana) 3 drops
Ylang-ylang (Cananga odorata) 2 drops
Neroli (Citrus aurantium) 1 drop
The number of drops given above is suitable for a 400 ml. water reservoir diffuser. If you wind up loving this blend as much as I do to completely melt away your worries, lower stress hormones and help you sleep, make yourself a master blend and store for easy access.
Said gently, much of the daily stress a mom tends to be in is from not accepting things as they are. Practice letting go. Start with little things in the home. It can wait. Let others be responsible for themselves whenever possible. We all know moms wear capes, and we are damn good at it…but that cape needs breaks, you need breaks.
Do not “should” all over yourself! I “should” have gotten the ______ done today. I “should” have been able to keep my cool when my children were fighting. I “should” have… I “should” have… I “should” have. Holy stress! No more “shoulding” on yourself.
Laugh more! Laughing is the single best thing you can do for your stress levels. Have Netflix? There are some amazing, and wicked, stand-up comedians on Netflix. Once the ears are in bed, sit down and enjoy!
Make a point to have girls’ night more often and enjoy each other’s company. No “kid talk” allowed. I have gone out with my girlfriends before when kid talk dominated the entire evening. If this begins to happen to you, speak up! Say gently to your friends, “Life has been hard lately, and I would really love it if I could get a couple of hours truly kid free. Can we talk about ourselves? Life? Hopes and dreams? Anything but our children?” Healthy boundaries, like these, are important. We all wear many hats, but boy does it ever feel good to just take them off and put them down once in a while.
Lastly, if you find yourself truly bone aching exhausted and are sleeping well, truly taking care of self with food, water, vitamins, all of it, with no improvement, please see your doctor. You deserve the best care possible.
If you like this blog, be sure to grab my latest book, “Mom’s Essential Oil Evolution‘ for yourself or a fellow loved Mom.
References
[1] Passionflower. Retrieved from http://www.umm.edu/health/medical/altmed/herb/passionflower
[2] Blumenthal, M. (2000). Herbal medicine: expanded commission e monographs. Austin: American botanical council. (pp. 230-232)
[3] Catnip. Retrieved from https://www.anniesremedy.com/nepeta-cataria-catnip.php
Like so many practices in life, I encourage you to become educated on the proper use of essential oils. When using them, please do so cautiously, understanding that there is often misinformation on the internet. You can be assured that I support only educated and proven resources. While essential oils should not be feared they should be respected and used properly to ensure the safety of the individuals using them.
Please note that I am not a medical practitioner. The content of this website is provided for general informational purposes only and is not intended as, nor should it be considered a substitute for, professional medical advice. Do not use the information on this website for diagnosing or treating any medical or health condition. If you have or suspect you have a medical problem, promptly contact your professional healthcare provider. By using this website, you assume full responsibility and liability for your own actions.
