Congratulations, Mom! Motherhood, whether for the first time the fourth time, or anywhere in between, is one of the most exhilarating times in a woman’s life. Be sure to slow down and savor every moment of it, not only because everything goes by so fast, but also because it is a crucial time to take care of self. Postpartum Depression..The Importance of Asking for Help
If you are sporting your baby bump and are knee deep in preparation, I want to cover a very important topic, postpartum depression (PPD). The rates of women who are affected by PPD are staggering, and constantly on the rise. According to a study performed in 2017 by the CDC, approximately one in nine women currently experience symptoms of PPD [1]. These numbers are very significant, and the topic needs a big, glaring spotlight put on it.
*If you think you may be suffering from PPD, please see your doctor.
As women, “most” of us are not prepared for motherhood in the way I am about to discuss. Other than books and articles preparing us for Baby, such as the best seller, “What To Expect When Expecting,” there is not much at all by way of truly preparing us moms for this huge life shift. I am speaking emotionally, mentally and physically. We can find information in books regarding cracked nipples, perineum tears, how long to wait before sex, stretch marks and hemorrhoids, but ladies; we need so much more than that! During this important time, I am not sure how many of us really think about ourselves as the most important one! It is crucial that you begin to see it that way, even with that brand-new life that you have made and is about to be in your arms nearly 24-7! Prepare to take impeccable care of self, for your health and sanity, as well as everyone else’s around you.
In sweet anticipation of the new baby on the way, we make lists of what baby needs; the A-Z of the cornucopia of “stuff” needed to support the new life in the home. After birthing our offspring, we throw ourselves into their care with abandon. With this, we second guess if we are doing everything right. We agonize over why they are crying, and we may even worry about how other moms perceive us. In addition to this emotional conflict, we attempt to place them in a proverbial bubble, so they do not get sick, although this tends to be a phenomenon most prominent with the first-born. Through all of this, our own well being often takes a back seat, or maybe even the trunk.
It is an extraordinary moment when we allow ourselves to stop the world around us. If only for a minute, to capture a coy smile that appears while our babe is sound sleep, or to look into his or her eyes and really see their soul, or just take a few moments to daydream, pondering the miracle of life. Try to embrace more of these moments.
We are encouraged to sleep when the baby sleeps or take time for self-care. How many of you, who have been through this already, just thought, “Like I could ever have found time for that.” Everyone offers advice on what you “should” be doing, solicited or otherwise. It is easy to offer advice to others, but not always so easy to enforce it in your own life.
I am not necessarily saying that naps are the answer. I have never been much of a napper unless I was up all night with a growth spurt feeder, sick baby or under the weather myself. So, if you have had a particularly rough night, then perhaps yes, that is what would be of most benefit to you.
What I am really talking about here is true, self-care: no chores, no laundry, and no dishes. Perhaps a bath or a nice hot shower followed by moisturizing the newly sensitive areas is just what you need.
Perhaps you can take a seat outdoors for a little bit of vitamin D and complete silence or take a walk while Baby naps in the stroller. While you walk, be sure to not go over the to-do list for once you arrive back home but take that time while your feet are hitting the pavement to look around you, soak up the sun and sounds, and truly rest your mind. When you get back home, read a book, have a nice warm cup of tea; something that helps you to slow down and supports your ability to truly unwind. Remind yourself how important you are during this time that is making many extra demands on you physically and emotionally. Maybe some self-pleasure is in order. Endorphins will do amazing things for any goddess! Remove the phrase, “I do not have time,” from your vocabulary; you are worth making the time.
*Challenge:
In addition to your A-Z list of things that Baby needs, I challenge you to make your own A-Z list. When the house is quiet, sit down and make your list, something like this:
A. Ask for help, art, allow stillness, acupuncture
B. Bath, breath work, breast massage, book, Be
C. Candles, call a friend, cuddle in a warm blanket, cake, chakra cleansing, cook a healthy meal, create a special space, color
D. Dance, date night, “Dear self” letters
Try it, A-Z. Expand on it regularly. Put it somewhere where you will see it often and try to do a few of them every day.
What else can you do for yourself?
Healthy Eating
Eating a healthy diet is critical. I know from experience how you feel, completely exhausted and grabbing a quick snack when hungry is ideal, in theory. But an apple with peanut or almond butter, for example, is going to sustain you much longer than reaching for something sugary sweet or another option full of carbs.
Making sure to get a balance of B vitamins is recommended. A recent study published in 2013 showed that increased levels of homocysteine showed a higher correlation with PPD [2]. What is homocysteine? It is an amino acid that has been shown to cause inflammation. The B vitamins help the body to metabolize homocysteine, specifically B6, and B12. You can obtain B6 in foods such as eggs, vegetables, and clean dairy, but B12 may need to be taken in supplemental form. If you are at high risk for PPD, or have suffered in past pregnancies, please ask your doctor to test your levels.
Ask For Help
If you are anything like me, a strong, confident and very stubborn woman, you may find yourself thinking, “I’ve got this. I do not need any help.” Or possibly you do ask for help, and then it does not get done the way you would have done it, and you say to yourself, “Nothing gets done right around here unless I do it myself!”
Let’s try reframing those thought patterns. I like reframing because it gives space for new ways of thinking or new outlooks that you may have never thought of before. Thinking that you need to change the core of who you are can be met with resistance, and understandably so. You can try something new and see if it feels good. Give it a try!
Ask for help! It could be as simple as calling a friend and asking him or her to make a meal, pick up take-out, or take the baby for a walk so you can take a bath! You are human, so let the notion of, “I can do it all by myself,” go. I will not argue the fact that you can, in fact, do it all by yourself, but at what expense is the question.
Closing
Find my latest book written just for you mom, filled with information like this and more, to support you and your loved ones. There is a multitude of other things that you, mom, can do to prepare yourself for baby and be the healthiest you possible.
Like so many practices in life, I encourage you to become educated on the proper use of essential oils. When using them, please do so cautiously, understanding that there is often misinformation on the internet. You can be assured that I support only educated and proven resources. While essential oils should not be feared they should be respected and used properly to ensure the safety of the individuals using them.
Please note that I am not a medical practitioner. The content of this website is provided for general informational purposes only and is not intended as, nor should it be considered a substitute for, professional medical advice. Do not use the information on this website for diagnosing or treating any medical or health condition. If you have or suspect you have a medical problem, promptly contact your professional healthcare provider. By using this website, you assume full responsibility and liability for your own actions.
References
[1] Trends in postpartum depressive symptoms-27 states, 2004, 2008, and 2012
[2] Aishwarya, S. et al (2013) Homocysteine and serotonin: association with postpartum depression. Asian Journal of Psychiatry. Dec;6(6):473-7
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