As women, “most” of us are not prepared for motherhood in the way I am about to discuss. Other than books and articles preparing us for Baby, such as the best seller, “What To Expect When Expecting,” there is not much at all by way of truly preparing us moms for this huge life shift. I am speaking emotionally, mentally and physically. We can find information in books regarding cracked nipples, perineum tears, how long to wait before sex, stretch marks and hemorrhoids, but ladies; we need so much more than that! During this important time, I am not sure how many of us really think about ourselves as the most important one! It is crucial that you begin to see it that way, even with that brand-new life that you have made and is about to be in your arms nearly 24-7! Prepare to take impeccable care of self, for your health and sanity, as well as everyone else’s around you. How to prepare for motherhood, taking best care of self.
In sweet anticipation of the new baby on the way, we make lists of what baby needs; the A-Z of the cornucopia of “stuff” needed to support the new life in the home. After birthing our offspring, we throw ourselves into their care with abandon. With this, we second guess if we are doing everything right. We agonize over why they are crying, and we may even worry about how other moms perceive us. In addition to this emotional conflict, we attempt to place them in a proverbial bubble, so they do not get sick, although this tends to be a phenomenon most prominent with the first-born. Through all of this, our own well being often takes a back seat, or maybe even the trunk.
It is an extraordinary moment when we allow ourselves to stop the world around us. If only for a minute, to capture a coy smile that appears while our babe is sound sleep, or to look into his or her eyes and really see their soul, or just take a few moments to daydream, pondering the miracle of life. Try to embrace more of these moments.
We are encouraged to sleep when the baby sleeps or take time for self-care. How many of you, who have been through this already, just thought, “Like I could ever have found time for that.” Everyone offers advice on what you “should” be doing, solicited or otherwise. It is easy to offer advice to others, but not always so easy to enforce it in your own life.
I am not necessarily saying that naps are the answer. I have never been much of a napper unless I was up all night with a growth spurt feeder, sick baby or under the weather myself. So, if you have had a particularly rough night, then perhaps yes, that is what would be of most benefit to you.
What I am really talking about here is true, self-care: no chores, no laundry, and no dishes. Perhaps a bath or a nice hot shower followed by moisturizing the newly sensitive areas is just what you need. I liked to place my oldest in his car carrier on the bathroom floor, and in that he slept as I bathed slowly and thoughtfully. The sound of the shower water, or my new age music if in the bath, provided extra soothing for both him and me.
Perhaps you can take a seat outdoors for a little bit of vitamin D and complete silence or take a walk while Baby naps in the stroller. While you walk, be sure to not go over the to-do list for once you arrive back home but take that time while your feet are hitting the pavement to look around you, soak up the sun and sounds, and truly rest your mind. When you get back home, read a book, have a nice warm cup of tea; something that helps you to slow down and supports your ability to truly unwind. Remind yourself how important you are during this time that is making many extra demands on you physically and emotionally. Maybe some self-pleasure is in order. Endorphins will do amazing things for any goddess! Remove the phrase, “I do not have time,” from your vocabulary; you are worth making the time.
So where do you start?
*Challenge:
In addition to your A-Z list of things that Baby needs, I challenge you to make your own A-Z list. When the house is quiet, sit down and make your list, something like this:
A. Ask for help, art, allow stillness, acupuncture
B. Bath, breath work, breast massage, book, Be
C. Candles, call a friend, cuddle in a warm blanket, cake, chakra cleansing, cook a healthy meal, create a special space, color
D. Dance, date night, “Dear self” letters
Try it, A-Z. Expand on it regularly. Put it somewhere where you will see it often and try to do a few of them every day.
Here is a fun and free printable for you to help make your list. Place it on your fridge, bathroom mirror or wherever in your home will be the most beneficial for you.
“Solitude is where I place my chaos to rest and awaken my inner peace.”– Nikki Rowe
Learn a lot more like this in my latest book!
