by Leslie Moldenauer | | Body, Mind
Stress is a completely unavoidable part of modern life. Due to jam-packed schedules, demanding jobs, and the never-ending email list, we can, as a result, find ourselves running rather quickly toward illness and burnout. The very first thing we can take a look at and understand better is the science of stress; the basics. In learning how our bodies react to stress, the how and why, we can be more empowered to notice it right away and self-regulate in order to combat its effects on us. Learning How our Body Reacts to Chronic Stress
Our nervous system is very complex. Our autonomic nervous system (ANS) is the queen (or king) of our CNS, acting largely unconsciously, and is regulated by the hypothalamus of our brain.
The ANS has branches that include the sympathetic nervous system (SNS) and the parasympathetic nervous system (PSNS). The SNS is responsible for the fight, flight, or freeze response, and the PSNS is responsible for the rest and digest response.
How can we determine when the SNS is activated or has reached a chronic level of being ‘turned on’? Some of the initial symptoms can include increased heart rate, increased rate of perspiration, increased blood pressure, renal vasoconstriction, muscle blood flow will decrease resulting in tingling extremities, and shortness of breath, to name only but a few. Chronic or prolonged activation will elicit the release of adrenaline from the adrenal medulla, much like a hose left on. If this happens too often, or for too long, the adrenals will suffer, a.k.a the beginning or adrenal fatigue/exhaustion.
The job of the PSNS is to help us to recover after the SNS has been activated by an event. But when it happens too often, our bodies no longer react as expected, and can not recover as the SNS stays active.
Getting our PSNS to kick in will now take actual work, and if we do not place extra focus on this, we are going to start feeling exhausted every moment of the day, and that is only the beginning. We know that the endocrine system is not the only part of our body that takes a hit when we are under chronic stress, it is every part of our body.
75-90% of visits to the doctor are a direct result of ailments relating to stress [1].
The more your SNS is activated, the more likely you will experience anxiety, insomnia, chronic digestive upset such as irritable bowel syndrome (IBS) and will be at risk for longer-term mental and physical health issues.
So the question becomes, how do we down-regulate the SNS response?
The goal is to feel our feelings, not to stuff them down or attempt to ignore them. This creates a low simmer of stress that can be dangerous. Tune into your feelings. Start with the somewhat smaller sensations such as hunger or thirst, and move onto irritation, sadness, frustrated, angry, jealous, so on and so forth. Practice getting in tune with how you feel at any given moment. Find ways to express them healthily. I like to journal, dance, and sometimes sing on the top of my lungs. I try and tune in to my body and ask what it needs, listen intently, and provide. This does take practice….but you can get there!
We do not need to sit atop a pillow and say Om (although I do this often), but to make a conscious choice to rest our nervous system to restore and maintain our health.
This is a shift, or a dance, a downregulating of the stress response that our body has created as a habitual choice.
What Can Be Done?
Begin by considering what would help you to decompress. It can be a lengthy ritual, but it doesn’t have to be. Quiet, mood lighting, focusing on deep breathing, practicing the art of doing nothing at all, is all a good place to start.
The vagus nerve NEEDS to be toned as well, look for that topic in my next article (and upcoming class), as that is a topic all in of itself.
Find ways that suit you to release the stress from the body, or what I prefer to think as the moving of stuck, intense energy that is not serving you, slower intentional movement is best. Yoga, tai chi, and meditative walking are great.
*Note, if you know that your adrenals are struggling, high impact cardio is not a good idea. I went through a period during the worst of my illness where anything that raised my heart rate above 120 bpm left me exhausted for a full 24 hours or more.
Creating Rituals
A nighttime ritual before bed is often very helpful to settle. If you are running around the home picking things up, making lunches, folding laundry, paying bills and the million other things we do, it is going to be hard to shut the switch off right when you lay down and go to sleep. Try teatime. Turn off all electronics at least 30 minutes before lying down. You could sit in silence, read a small passage of a feel-good book, or journal a gratitude list for the day. To-do lists are NOT welcome here.
Here are some herbs I recommend trying.
Passionflower (Passiflora incarnate) is an absolutely gorgeous flower, and in the dried herbal form, it is beneficial to calming the mind. As a matter of fact, “Scientists believe passionflower works by increasing levels of a chemical called gamma-aminobutyric acid (GABA) in the brain. GABA lowers the activity of some brain cells, making you feel more relaxed” [2].
Passionflower is also a beautiful herb for anxiety, but there are a few contraindications to be aware of. This herb is not for anyone who is currently pregnant or breastfeeding. If you are already taking sedating medications, avoid passionflower in your cup, or you could greatly intensify the effects of your medication.
Lemon balm (Melissa officinalis) in your tea is a must! Touted for relaxation of body and mind. Fun fact! In Germany, lemon balm is licensed as a standard medicinal tea for sleep disorders [3].
The essential oil, typically sold as Melissa, is amazing too, but rather costly. Many do not know that it takes quite a lot of plant material to fill that bottle, so I recommend using the herb to help calm before bed.
Roman Chamomile (Chamaemelum nobile) is another favorite for calming the body, mind…and bonus, the belly! Use caution if you have an existing ragweed allergy or hay fever, chamomile may affect you as well.
Some recommend valerian (Valeriana wallichii) …but I think the herb tastes awful, and the essential oil smells even worse. Use catnip (Nepeta cataria) instead! Catnip is rich in nepetalactone, which has mild but effective sedative qualities, and acts much like valerian! [4]
If you mix equal parts of a couple, a few, or all of these herbs and enjoy teatime before bed, you might find yourself much more inclined to sleep peacefully.
Aromatherapy
Are you a bath person? A luxurious soak without any demands may be just what you need. Here is one of my favorite blends:
Bliss Bath
Rose Absolute (Rosa x damascene) 6 drops
Lavender (Lavandula angustifolia) 4 drops
Epsom salt 1 cup
Unscented fragrance-free shampoo 1 Tbsp
Full fat crème ½ cup (optional)
Mix and add to bath after the water has run. Light a candle, grab a glass of wine and relax.
*More on the proper way to take a bath with essential oils, and why I listed shampoo (a must) later on.
Diffuser Blend
Turn the timer on your diffuser before you slip under the covers with your favorite nighttime blend. Here is one of mine:
Lavender (Lavandula angustifolia) 4 drops
Marjoram (Origanum majorana) 3 drops
Ylang-ylang (Cananga odorata) 2 drops
Neroli (Citrus aurantium) 1 drop
Here is the study to support the effectiveness of this blend.
The number of drops given above is suitable for a 400 ml. water reservoir diffuser. If you wind up loving this blend as much as I do to completely melt away your worries, lower stress hormones and help you sleep, make yourself a master blend and store for easy access.
Said gently, much of our daily stress tends to be in not accepting things as they are. Practice letting go. Start with little things in the home. It can wait. Let others be responsible for themselves whenever possible. Put things down that do not belong to you.
Do not “should” all over yourself! I “should” have gotten the ______ done today. I “should” have been able to keep my cool when my children were fighting. I “should” have… I “should” have… I “should” have. Holy stress! No more “shoulding” on yourself.
Laugh more! Laughing is the single best thing you can do for your stress levels. Have Netflix? There are some amazing, and wicked, stand-up comedians on Netflix. Once the ears are in bed, sit down and enjoy!
Lastly, if you find yourself truly bone aching exhausted and are sleeping well, truly taking care of self with food, water, vitamins, all of it, with no improvement, please see your doctor. You deserve the best care possible.
References
[1] https://www.stress.org/americas-1-health-problem
[2] Passionflower. Retrieved from http://www.umm.edu/health/medical/altmed/herb/passionflower
[3] Blumenthal, M. (2000). Herbal medicine: expanded commission e monographs. Austin: American botanical council. (pp. 230-232)
[4] Catnip. Retrieved from https://www.anniesremedy.com/nepeta-cataria-catnip.php
Like so many practices in life, I encourage you to become educated on the proper use of essential oils. When using them, please do so cautiously, understanding that there is often misinformation on the internet. You can be assured that I support only educated and proven resources. While essential oils should not be feared they should be respected and used properly to ensure the safety of the individuals using them.
Please note that I am not a medical practitioner. The content of this website is provided for general informational purposes only and is not intended as, nor should it be considered a substitute for, professional medical advice. Do not use the information on this website for diagnosing or treating any medical or health condition. If you have or suspect you have a medical problem, promptly contact your professional healthcare provider. By using this website, you assume full responsibility and liability for your own actions.
Find Your Footing Using Natural Remedies
by Leslie Moldenauer | | Mind, Spirit
Empaths or highly sensitive people like me really struggle the more we watch the news (which for me is very rare) or spend too much time on social media. There is a lot going on around us, and sometimes we need to work harder to remember that people are basically good. Sometimes very hard. Today’s post is revealing my top 5 ways to thrive in a seemingly cruel world.
We all know that there is a growing issue surrounding mental health or mental wellness, and getting the help that is needed whether due to insufficient insurance, the stigma surrounding mental health in our society or something else entirely; it is not easy, and for many, it is definitely not working. We live a community where many are afraid to ask for help, and often those that ask do not get the kind of help that is needed.
I hope we can begin to take a step forward to healing in this world, but without guarantees, there are some things that we as individuals, families, and communities can do to not only coexist but begin to thrive.
This post is meant to bring hope, and comfort in a world that can be cruel.
1. We absolutely NEED to unplug. The media does a fantastic job at instilling fear. Take a rest from the media outlets. Spend time in nature, exercise, spend time doing the things that you love, surrounded by the people you love. I recommend at bare minimum 1-2 days a week away from all electronics. This is not to hide but to recharge and restore yourself.
“If you are empathic and feel others pain, it might be a good idea to avoid watching any TV shows or movies that are violent in nature.”
2. Work harder to recognize the good in the world. Be that person. Lead by example. Do as I say and not as I do….is well….crap. When you see someone struggling offer to hold space for him or her. Ask what it is that they need, and listen for the answer. Give extra smiles to strangers. Volunteer time to help others in need. These types of behavior will not go unnoticed, and it will inspire others to do the same. Let the goodness spread like wildfire.
“Start asking around in your community. You may be surprised just how easy it is to help others in need.”
3. Live and let live. The toxicity that spreads on social media, just as much as in the real world (at times) is an energy zapper. Trolls are what they are dubbed in the social media world. I like to call them keyboard warriors. Have a strong opinion about something? You’re likely thinking…who doesn’t, am I right!? Everyone has the right to think for himself or herself. You do not have to agree. You are not them! Straight, gay, transgender, white, black, democrat, republican, homeschool, un-school, cry it out, breastfeed, formula feed, vaccinate, don’t vaccinate, allopathic, holistic, Christian, Atheist, I could go on and on and on. Do no harm, and live and let live.
I could meet someone at a public place who is the complete opposite of me….and I could get on with them just fine as long as they held the same space as I did, their life is theirs, and mine is mine. If I see someone on social media saying something I am adamantly against….I can scroll on without saying ANYTHING AT ALL. It is easy to do. Be that person for a much happier and calmer life!
“Replace criticism with compassion, and judgment with understanding.”
4. This goes along with #3. You have every right to walk away from those individuals who are toxic to your peace of mind. That is expected and encouraged. I have had my share of toxic people in my life, and am happy to say they are no longer in it. I surround myself with those that champion and support me, believe in me, and help me to learn and grow. In return, I do the same for them. Those are the people that light me up inside, those are the people that I will travel across the country for and answer the phone at 1 a.m to help them when in need (you know who you are). Your tribe is the good in this world. Hold them close. Nourish within and inside your inner circle.
“Respect yourself enough to walk away from those that do not respect you.”
5. Nourish yourself, and your mind. You get to decide what thoughts you think as well as the energy you nurture and allow to grow. Fill your days with things that bring you pleasure. This goes well beyond self-care. Many talk of self-care, and while the small things are important, and definitely not a luxury…I am talking about the habits you have, your belief system, your boundaries that you set up for yourself and uphold. Learning how to say no. Putting goodness into your body, as well as your mind. The things you do every day to nourish yourself will have a long-lasting impact. Like Buddha said, the goal is to be calm and still despite what is going on around you. This takes practice and discipline. You do not ‘need’ the world to be happy.
I hope that you have found a small measure of hope and inspiration in my article. Be the change, spread the love.
xo Leslie
Supporting others when under stress….holistically
by Leslie Moldenauer | | Mind
As moms, we often get hung up on the to-do list and thoughts of the future. What needs to be done tomorrow, next week, what will next year look like, how will you make it all come together? Although all of those things are important, as we are often the glue that holds everything and everyone together, it is really important to always celebrate growth and success, or what Charlie Sheen so eloquently tagged “WINNING.”
Any kind of celebration does a couple of things to your body and your mind. Your endorphins flow and you are left feeling exhilarated, confident, and ready to take on the world. Even the small things are worthy of celebration. Is the to-do list long and you managed to get a couple of things checked off, and you did them really well?
Were you able to help a friend through something and left them feeling loved and supported? Were you able to do something special to pamper yourself today? All of those are worthy moments! Celebrations reinforce future success, so go for it!
Do you accomplish something big and then immediately think….NEXT! Ambition is great, but just slow down a bit and reward yourself for what you achieved.
Having goals is very important but if you are always looking ahead to where you want to be are you acknowledging and celebrating where you are? Really truly celebrating a success puts a spotlight on our efforts, and we will value it so much more.
The “Law of Attraction” is hard at work in these situations. The more you focus on the wins and abundance in your life, or what I like to call always having enough… the more of it you will have. The basics of the Law of Attraction states that we attract into our lives what we focus on or think about. The power of the mind is tangible, so harness it!
Here is a great resource for practicing as validation how the powerful the Law of Attraction really is!
Something that really helps me with this is a separate little journal titled, “Wins.” You can purchase a true journal or just go to the corner store and buy a notebook. Every day take just 5 minutes to write down your wins. How did that make you feel? Did you celebrate it? Write down what you did. Did you meet a milestone or a goal? Anything of significance to you, write it down. No negatives in this journal.
Now you have a wonderful tool to sit and read when needed. Did you have a challenging day? Have a setback of some kind? We all have these days, and this is a perfect time to just stop everything, grab yourself a cup of tea and read all about your wins. Guaranteed to make you feel good!
When you have those wins, as they happen, brag a little! Saying it aloud helps reinforce the positive vibe. Pick up the phone and call your best friend, your mom or dad, anyone that is important in your world. Say, “Hey…brag time! I just ‘_______,’ and I am so proud of myself!” We, as women, need to cultivate relationships like this. There is simply no room for competition or jealousy among friends. If we cannot truly celebrate each other’s success, it would be a terrible injustice.
You can reinforce the good another amazing way, with aromatics. Every time you have a win, grab a bottle of essential oil, choose it with intention and sit with the aroma. Scent memory should come into play here after being consistent with this practice. When you need to reinforce that positive and rewarding feeling…reach for that same oil.
Try inhaling:
Cape Chamomile essential oil when you feel frazzled
Laurel leaf essential oil to foster confidence
Mandarin red essential oil when you are feeling stuck
Pink pepper essential oil to calm your thoughts
Vetiver essential oil to provide reassurance and self-confidence
Life can be hard……you deserve to celebrate every last win!!
Sending you love and abundance in all that is good.
Leslie
Like so many practices in life, I encourage you to become educated on the proper use of essential oils. When using them, please do so cautiously, understanding that there is often misinformation on the internet. You can be assured that I support only educated and proven resources. While essential oils should not be feared they should be respected and used properly to ensure the safety of the individuals using them.
Please note that I am not a medical practitioner. The content of this website is provided for general informational purposes only and is not intended as, nor should it be considered a substitute for, professional medical advice. Do not use the information on this website for diagnosing or treating any medical or health condition. If you have or suspect you have a medical problem, promptly contact your professional healthcare provider. By using this website, you assume full responsibility and liability for your own actions.
Supporting others when under stress….holistically
by Leslie Moldenauer | | Mind, Spirit
Would you be surprised if I told you that the most common issue among young mothers is burnout? What I mean by burnout is adrenal fatigue and likely low thyroid function as these typically go together. Are you taking time to truly rest? You heard my story, and I have heard the stories of countless other moms who are living it now, hardcore, bone-aching fatigue. Speaking from experience, more experience than I ever thought I would have, here are some of the symptoms of adrenal fatigue. Do they sound familiar?
Exhaustion, not just your average “tired”
Craving salty foods
Fuzzy thinking/difficulty concentrating
Recurrent colds
Waking tired, even though you got plenty of sleep
Feeling revved up and most energetic later in the evening
Difficulty recovering from exercise (Cardio leaves you completely spent)
Possible sleep disturbances
Strong PMS symptoms
Low blood pressure
Heart palpitations
Increasing food sensitivities
If this list sounds like you, don’t panic. Your gut instinct is powerful and was likely telling you that something in your life and your health was off, simply because, like I mentioned above, this tired goes well beyond just being ready for bed.
If you are an avid exerciser it is going to be really important for you to slow down. Reconnection to self and lots of self-love is what is in order. Movement is important though; the type of movement that needs a shift for a bit. Yoga, tai chi, qi gong, and daily walking are on the docket. Weights are even ok. The key is not to get your heart rate too high for too long. You have gotten to this point because of a certain level of disconnect to self, and to start to pull yourself back and find homeostasis, you need to reconnect once again.
Sleep is critical here. I know you feel amazing late at night, but you have to try to shift your sleep pattern to get into bed earlier. At first, the shift can be slow, and you start to get into bed 15 minutes earlier, then 30 minutes earlier, etc. I know that is hard as your sweet spot is after the children are in bed and you finally have the house to yourself. Even now that I have recovered from adrenal exhaustion there are nights that I still falter and burn the midnight oil, but it is really doing more harm than good. Please try and get your goddess self in bed by 10:30 p.m. at the latest!
Having trouble meeting Mr. Sandman? Herbs and aromatherapy can be very helpful for you.
Time for Tea
Just like with your own children a nighttime ritual before bed is often very helpful to settle. If you are running around the home picking things up, making lunches, folding laundry, paying bills and the million other things we moms do, it is going to be hard to shut the switch off right when you lay down and go to sleep. Try teatime. Turn off all electronics at least 30 minutes before lying down. You could sit in silence, read a small passage of a feel-good book, or journal a gratitude list for the day. To-do lists are not welcome here.
Here are some herbs I recommend trying:
Passionflower (Passiflora incarnate) is an absolutely gorgeous flower, and in the dried herbal form, it is beneficial to calming the mind. As a matter of fact, “Scientists believe passionflower works by increasing levels of a chemical called gamma-aminobutyric acid (GABA) in the brain. GABA lowers the activity of some brain cells, making you feel more relaxed” [1].
Passionflower is also a beautiful herb for anxiety, but there are a few contraindications to be aware of. This herb is not for anyone who is currently pregnant or breastfeeding. If you are already taking sedating medications, avoid passionflower in your cup, or you could greatly intensify the effects of your medication. Be safe momma.
Lemon balm (Melissa officinalis) in your tea is a must! Touted for relaxation of body and mind. Fun fact! In Germany, lemon balm is licensed as a standard medicinal tea for sleep disorders [2].
The essential oil, typically sold as Melissa, is amazing too, but rather costly. Many do not know that it takes quite a lot of plant material to fill that bottle, so I recommend using the herb to help calm before bed rather than the costly oil. Think sustainably!
Roman Chamomile (Chamaemelum nobile) is another favorite for calming the body, mind…and bonus, the belly! Use caution if you have an existing ragweed allergy or hay fever, chamomile may affect you as well.
Some recommend valerian (Valeriana wallichii) essential oil …but I think the herb tastes awful, and the essential oil smells even worse.
Use catnip (Nepeta cataria) instead!
Catnip is rich in nepetalactone, which has mild but effective sedative qualities, and acts much like valerian! [3]
If you mix equal parts of a couple, a few, or all of these herbs and enjoy teatime before bed, you might find yourself much more inclined to sleep peacefully.
Aromatherapy
Are you a bath person? A luxurious soak without the demands of your kids may be just what you need. Here is one of my favorite blends:
Bliss Bath
Rose Absolute (Rosa x damascene) 6 drops
Lavender (Lavandula angustifolia) 4 drops
Epsom salt 1 cup
Unscented fragrance-free shampoo 1 Tbsp
Full fat crème ½ cup (optional)
Mix and add to bath after the water has run. Light a candle, grab a glass of wine and relax.
Diffuser Blend
Turn the timer on your diffuser before you slip under the covers with your favorite nighttime blend. Here is one of mine:
Lavender (Lavandula angustifolia) 4 drops
Marjoram (Origanum majorana) 3 drops
Ylang-ylang (Cananga odorata) 2 drops
Neroli (Citrus aurantium) 1 drop
The number of drops given above is suitable for a 400 ml. water reservoir diffuser. If you wind up loving this blend as much as I do to completely melt away your worries, lower stress hormones and help you sleep, make yourself a master blend and store for easy access.
Said gently, much of the daily stress a mom tends to be in is from not accepting things as they are. Practice letting go. Start with little things in the home. It can wait. Let others be responsible for themselves whenever possible. We all know moms wear capes, and we are damn good at it…but that cape needs breaks, you need breaks.
Do not “should” all over yourself! I “should” have gotten the ______ done today. I “should” have been able to keep my cool when my children were fighting. I “should” have… I “should” have… I “should” have. Holy stress! No more “shoulding” on yourself.
Laugh more! Laughing is the single best thing you can do for your stress levels. Have Netflix? There are some amazing, and wicked, stand-up comedians on Netflix. Once the ears are in bed, sit down and enjoy!
Make a point to have girls’ night more often and enjoy each other’s company. No “kid talk” allowed. I have gone out with my girlfriends before when kid talk dominated the entire evening. If this begins to happen to you, speak up! Say gently to your friends, “Life has been hard lately, and I would really love it if I could get a couple of hours truly kid free. Can we talk about ourselves? Life? Hopes and dreams? Anything but our children?” Healthy boundaries, like these, are important. We all wear many hats, but boy does it ever feel good to just take them off and put them down once in a while.
Lastly, if you find yourself truly bone aching exhausted and are sleeping well, truly taking care of self with food, water, vitamins, all of it, with no improvement, please see your doctor. You deserve the best care possible.
If you like this blog, be sure to grab my latest book, “Mom’s Essential Oil Evolution‘ for yourself or a fellow loved Mom.
References
[1] Passionflower. Retrieved from http://www.umm.edu/health/medical/altmed/herb/passionflower
[2] Blumenthal, M. (2000). Herbal medicine: expanded commission e monographs. Austin: American botanical council. (pp. 230-232)
[3] Catnip. Retrieved from https://www.anniesremedy.com/nepeta-cataria-catnip.php
Like so many practices in life, I encourage you to become educated on the proper use of essential oils. When using them, please do so cautiously, understanding that there is often misinformation on the internet. You can be assured that I support only educated and proven resources. While essential oils should not be feared they should be respected and used properly to ensure the safety of the individuals using them.
Please note that I am not a medical practitioner. The content of this website is provided for general informational purposes only and is not intended as, nor should it be considered a substitute for, professional medical advice. Do not use the information on this website for diagnosing or treating any medical or health condition. If you have or suspect you have a medical problem, promptly contact your professional healthcare provider. By using this website, you assume full responsibility and liability for your own actions.
Complementary Therapies to Support Mental Wellness
by Leslie Moldenauer | | Mind
Mental health is a continued focus for good reason…..life is hard and our resilience may not be! We all have times where we feel like we are holding on by a thread, myself included. Mental wellness, are we really lost?
I have been taking deep dives into my childhood, my upbringing, individuals that have crossed my path and the lessons they taught me, for a number of years now.
This quote represents a lot of what I believe…or rather what I have unpacked and discovered about myself, and about you.
“Finding yourself”, is not really how it works. You aren’t a ten-dollar bill in last winter’s coat pocket. You are also not lost. Your true self is right there, buried under cultural conditioning, other people’s opinions, and inaccurate conclusions you drew as a kid that became your beliefs about who you are. “Finding yourself”, is actually returning to yourself. An unlearning, an excavation, a remembering who you were before the world got its hands on you.”. –Emily McDowell
We are not lost. That is not an accurate representation of our lives. Our true selves never went anywhere, we are not lost, something to be found. We do not simply ‘lose ourselves’. Our real selves are buried, but if we work to understand our thoughts, feeling, and behaviors, we can find greater understanding of ourselves.
If we can identify and discover what our own limiting beliefs are, based on beliefs put on us from our parents or other adults, cultured conditioning, being told we are not good enough, fearing speaking our truth, opinions of others who are just projecting upon you, and a long laundry list of other things that have shaped us, we can begin to take off those weights.
If you only take one thing out of this article today, let it be this…..others opinions about you are only a mirror about how they feel about themselves. THIS is the truth!
Sometimes this means learning new things, other times it means unlearning; both equally important. We are limited, but not lost. We have blind spots but are not blind.
As Louise Hay so eloquently said, “If you accept a limiting belief, then it will become a truth for you.”
Somewhere between the innocent sparkly child, you were, believing anything was possible, and adulthood…..you started to lose your sheen due to a whole host of limited beliefs. Some were ingrained in your belief system due to those of your parents, others were adopted due to the treatment you receive from others…..but we can change!
What can you do about it?
The first thing to be aware of is the moment you begin to question those beliefs, you are on the right path.
Take action! Start by writing them down. Not sure how to determine what those are? Write down a few goals and dreams, and listen to the first thoughts that come up. Do you immediately feel a tension in the body? Do your goals and dreams incite fear? Disgust? Anxiety? Doubts? Why?
Sometimes this is when the ‘should’s’ or the ‘I am not good enough’ thoughts come into play. This inner mean girl needs to be exposed for what she is….pure ego. Your ego is not there to protect you, but to stifle you. The task is not necessarily to transcend your own humanity but to embrace it. Rewrite it. Don’t like how you feel? Work through it, not around it…and definitely do not ignore it.
Ask for help! I worked with a beautiful soul who helped me to challenge my top limiting belief of “It is not ok to make a mistake.” This was ingrained in me from my upbringing. Good was not good enough. Mistakes were weak. That was hard to unpack as an adult, and others definitely preyed upon it. Doing the work was freeing, healing, empowering. We all make mistakes. This is where we learn, and I want to learn every single day I am on this path.
It took time, but I have almost arrived. I am perfect in my imperfections. I love every little piece of me…..mind, body, spirit…questioning on the daily everything I was ever taught. There is no other way.
Keep learning, my friends. Xo Leslie
You are the one you’ve been waiting for..you are the healer
Louise Hay video worth watching
by Leslie Moldenauer | | Mind
I am excited to announce my next guest blog post from one of my Aussie friends, Tim Neal. He has worked with the one and only Tony Robbins, and is so incredibly inspiring in his coaching. I met him on Facebook through a mutual friend, and I am so glad I did. His no-nonsense approach is just what I need to hear to stay motivated and on track……but most importantly, he helps me to continually look in the mirror and be honest with myself. We deserve no less…..
By: Tim Neal, Mindset & Motivation Coach
Do you feel that life is against you? That it’s a constant battle? That nobody can be trusted? That you’re alone? That life is just hard???
It can feel that way. I’ve felt that way many times.
Here’s what I’ve learned and ask you to consider if you’re wanting to take back your power and take giant steps forward in your life.
Often we can start playing the victim. This is a pattern we can easily get sucked into, it’s about blame.
Remember, when you point the finger there are 3 fingers pointing back at you.
This is not to say it’s all your fault either, a common misconception, yet just an opportunity to become more proactive and more respons-able. When you choose to blame any person, circumstance, situation or event – you lose.
❌You lose your worth.
❌You lose your power.
❌You lose your truth.
❌You lose your strength.
❌You lose any chance of progress.
❌You lose your ability to grow.
❌You lose your connection.
❌You lose your love.
❌You lose your happiness.
When you put your ‘blinders’ on and miss the opportunity to learn the lesson, you keep repeating the same disempowering pattern.
I get it. It’s scary to step out of the victim role. Your shit comes up! All
the stuff you’ve been pushing down and suppressing, consciously and unconsciously will rear its ugly head. It’s not comfortable, in fact, it’s very uncomfortable! Your ego will come out and fight for your victim stance. It will feel as though your survival is threatened, it will feel like life or death. Your deepest fears are often realized.
It takes courage to find another more empowering way.
The truth is that playing the victim is based around ‘stories’. The stories we’ve made up over the years, beliefs that we’ve believed and attached significant meaning to. And it’s those stories that keep us feeling stuck, trapped and powerless.
What’s the answer? How do you break through and take back your power?
You take RESPONSIBILITY.
✔️ Responsibility for your worth.
✔️ Responsibility for your power.
✔️ Responsibility for your truth.
✔️ Responsibility for your strength.
✔️ Responsibility for your progress.
✔️ Responsibility for your growth.
✔️ Responsibility for your connection.
✔️ Responsibility for your love.
✔️ Responsibility for your happiness.
Responsibility for your dynamic with the other person, responsibility for the circumstance, the situation or the event.
Responsibility for the learning and lesson that the universe is wanting to teach you.
It’s not always easy, yet necessary to move ahead.
I’d suggest you ask yourself these 3 power questions.
- What do I GET by playing the victim?
Eg. I get comfort, I feel a connection, I experience significance
- WHY will I choose to take more responsibility from now on?
Eg. It hurts too much when I feel helpless, I’m sick of being angry, I am more committed to my growth, my family and friends deserve me to be at my best more often.
And, in the moments where you feel like a victim or start to blame, ask yourself…
- What is MY responsibility here?
Eg. I didn’t honor my word, I’m not speaking up, I’m talking with frustration, I’m expecting X, I haven’t communicated any agreements or made any requests.
Responsibility is where you will learn.
Responsibility is where you will grow.
Responsibility is the only real way forward.
Responsibility is where you will win – every time.
Make a commitment to yourself to stop playing the victim, instead whatever happens take responsibility. It will change your life!
Stay Strong & Be Great!
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